Staples Inc., founder Tom Stemberg has come into the spotlight very recently thanks to buddy Mitt Romney’s possible perjury on his behalf during his divorce. Even though I mention Romney’s “October Surprise”, this post is not about him or politics as usual.

What this post is about is something that needs to be understood when it comes to marrying men of wealth and means, and this scary situation is just the one to lay it out:

“Our sources say years later, Maureen, who suffered from MS and had multiple bouts with cancer, got a visit from one of Tom’s guys, who gave her papers informing her that Tom was cancelling her health insurance.  Our sources say the irony here is that we’re told Tom was working as one of then Governor Mitt Romney’s chief health care advisers.”

And then there’s this particularly disgusting business:

“This is apparently something Mr. Stemberg wrote to his his then 12-year old son with Sullivan Stemberg (a child Tom initially got custody over): “It will not be possible for you to be part of our family in the foreseeable future” because of the child’s misbehavior during his divorce from Maureen Sullivan. “

So between dumping his child who was acting out over his ADULTERY AND ABANDONMENT OF HIS MOTHER and a man who had no qualms cutting off the health insurance for his sick ex-wife, I think it’s safe to say Stemberg represents a type of man who becomes successful monetarily but is by no means a gentleman. As such, it would be wise that women who are seeking stability and security absolutely avoid such men. No matter how wealthy they are.

A lot of women look to Ivana Trump as the example to live up to when walking away with a fortune from the rich egotistical creep of an ex-husband, but the reality is that an Ivana Trump is increasingly rare as the wealthy ex-husband often has tons of connections and outstanding legal teams available to help him do whatever they can to make wife number four walk away owing him the clothes on her back.

I’ll go so far as to say “gold-digging” is an increasingly nostalgic notion. Gold-digging also implies that the person “digging” is in control and is manipulating the situation. But there just aren’t women going out and attaching themselves to sugar daddies who are oblivious to their desires to spend their money as often as the term implies. If you are with such a man, I imagine it’s for as long as this person wants and is amused by you. And then when that stops being the case, it’s off to the trash heap for the tarnished trophy wife.

But the biggest take away I have of this situation is the fictitious notion that marriage makes a man good, or can change a man for the better, or a married man is more trustworthy and dependable simply because of his status as married. This is simply not true and it would be wise to alleviate yourself of any such belief system.

I also have a hard time believing men like Stemberg or other unfaithful sociopaths and narcissists don’t reveal their true colors early and often in the relationship process. There are numerous red flags regarding how such a man will treat you:

– Does this person always discuss “his” money and “your” money, and is always secretive about his business prospects?

– Does this person place a special emphasis on your appearance because he feels your beauty is more about his status than his appreciation of you?

– Does this person adamantly defend the idea of a pre-nup because “no one knows what the future will bring” and speaks bitterly about past dealings with women who took him for everything he was worth?

– Are you wife number three and he was married to the last woman when you first got together?

Well then, I have to say it doesn’t look good. But then, I imagine it looks that way to women looking for long term, quality romance.  Yes, you do have your professional trophy wives and your A+ gold diggers, but such women are a dying breed, no matter what Kanye West says. It’s increasingly becoming a situation where women have serious expectations of men who are very successful, respected, etc. and the character of these men do not match up to these expectations.

Is it possible to marry a wealthy DBR? Yes, yes it is. And a skeptic could tell themselves they’d be better off than dealing with a poor one, but I’m confident that a wealthy DBR is a bit more calculating with just how effectively they can eff you over.

Damaged is damaged, and it’s just best not to deal with such men AT ALL.

You can fall in love with a rich man as well as a poor one….and you can be kicked to the curb regardless, and left desolate.

It’s not enough to focus on men of means; you need to be highly aware of how they go about making a living (are they embezzling, inside trading, etc.), how they treat people, (do they skimp on tips, mock persons who are homeless) and how they treat you. Are you their partner and equal or are you a disposable accessory?

If a man of means acts in a questionable selfish manner before you get together, do not anticipate that marriage and children will improve him.