This thread may be politically incorrect in today’s natural hair care craze, but I think some folks (like myself) might need a safe place to vent a bit. Truth be told, my natural hair journey hasn’t been all fresh daisies and roses. I’ve had some MAJOR setbacks and have had to face some uncomfortable truths about my hair. Would I ever go back to biweekly visits to the hair salon or worse…get a chemical relaxer? Hell no. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m a bit disappointed in my progress.

My hair, most likely, will never, ever look like this:

What I’ve Learned

Lesson #1: First off, my hair is fine and fragile. It’s needs regular low doses of protein, mingled within my shampoo, conditioner and leave-in hair products.

Lesson #2: My hair is “long for a black chick,” but it will *probably* never be waist length. I don’t think it’s because I reach a terminal length before it can grow. Why then? Refer back to Lesson #1: It’s inherently weak and breaks before it gets to my waist.

I’m approaching BSL, albeit at a snail’s pace.

Lesson #3: Because it is fine, my hair HATES two-strand twists and show’s me how much by amputating itself at the ends.

Lesson #4: My hair likes it better when I loosen the curls a bit with a blow dryer. I know what I just said is sacrilege in the natural hair community, but…there it is.

Lesson #5: Wash-and-go’s look absolutely HIDEOUS on me. Never gonna happen. Like, ever.

I’m disappointed that my hair isn’t fuller and a perfectly globed afro continues to evade me. I’m disappointed that at 39, the quality of my hair has nowhere to go but downhill.

Of course I’ll keep it as healthy as I can. Of course I’ll be kind to it and treat it gently. But I can’t pretend that I had plans for my hair that was just way too grandiose. My hair will do what it will do, and be what it will be. I am resigned that it will never be a source of shock and awe, like those lucky ladies on You Tube with a mass of kinky hair down to their ankles. There is so much beauty in a long plait of afro-textured hair. I covet it, I admit. But there’s a time when you have to accept what IS, not what you WISH would be.

Anyone else have some uncomfortable truths about your natural hair care journey you’d like to share?