Let me first say that I adore ALL of my babies. But there’s something about your first born…

Look at that face. She was all eyes.

Fifteen years ago today the most exquisite creature came into my life. She hardly ever cried when she was born, almost like she didn’t want to impose. Now as she reaches the precipice of womanhood, I can’t help but marvel at how beautiful, smart, poised, and caring she is. More than anything, she is a GOOD person. She’s fiercely loyal, and has a good moral compass. She is gifted–according to test scores, she’s smarter than 90% of the kinds in the State of California, thank-you-very-much.

Maxi Me changed my life. Giving her life gave me life. Every decision I made from the moment she was born was for her. She helped me choose the man who would eventually become her stepfather, because I chose that man according to what kind of stepfather I knew she deserved. He is not “stepdad,” he is “Dad.” Her real father is “Daddy,” and they both love her fiercely.

I remember nine years ago, when Maxi had a terrible accident when a window shattered and literally tore her eyelid open and threatened the loss of her eye. She was rushed to the hospital, and I seven months pregnant with Clo Clo, was a complete emotional mess. Both men raced from their respective jobs and rushed to her side, and as she was sedated and getting reparative surgery, my husband, Mike, held one hand, and her bio dad held the other. The wiped their tears and whispered assurances in her ear, and messages of their devotion. They have butted heads at times during the years, but in that moment, the only thing that mattered was Maxi. That was a scene of pure, colorblind, fatherly love. At that moment, I was so proud of those men. Her fathers–their love has shaped who she is.

In this photo, you can still see the scar from the window accident, on the right eyelid.

When I look at her, I can’t help but puff up with pride. I poured my everything into her, and got so much more in return. She isn’t just my daughter, she is my friend. She is my rock. She understands me, knows me, and loves me still. She is the inspiration for No Wedding No Womb.

I have no regrets. I would do it all again.

Now off to the mall to spend a small fortune at H&M and Forever 21.