Picture this: You’ve got all your ducks in a row. You’ve graduated high school and got accepted to the college of your choice. You have a career goal, so you’ve decided putting off having kids until you’re emotionally and financially prepared. However, your boyfriend dropped out of high school and is less than thrilled you’ll be going away to university. You never have sex without a condom, which your boyfriend usually has handy. Little do you know that when it’s pitch dark in the room, he’s slipping it off, riding bareback, and ejaculating inside you. Two weeks before you’re to go off to college, you find out you’re pregnant. Your boyfriend insists you stay put because he has a right to raise his child with you living in the same town/neighborhood. You stay. Opt for a few community college classes, have the baby. Then…he bails, leaving you with a baby you have to raise alone, no college degree, and stuck in a neighborhood you tried your best to escape.

Another scenario: You’re already in college and doing well–you just made the Dean’s List…again. You meet a man who’s college-educated, gainfully employed, goes to church, but has a host of “issues.” You think he’s a good catch, but then again, so are you. He knows you have options. He also knows that you’ve been very lazy about taking your birth control pills, but you trust him with doing the Rhythm Method. About a week late for your next period, you discover you’re pregnant. You also discover that on one occasion of sexual intercourse, your boyfriend decided to “let the boys fly” and ejaculate in you and withhold alerting you. When you tell him of the pregnancy, he’s not at all surprised.

The second scenario really happened. I know, because it happened to me. Little did I know that this “accident” is more common than I’d ever realized. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) have recently come to the conclusion that obstetricians and gynecologists should screen women and teens for signs that their partner is sabotaging their birth control, forcing them to have unprotected sex or otherwise trying to control their reproductive choices, according to U.S. News.

But this sabotage goes beyond just trying to knock your high-class girl up so you can knock her down a few pegs because she’s “smelling herself.” Some men are passing on lifelong sexually-transmitted diseases. How are these psychologically disturbed men doing this?

The abuse includes hiding or destroying a woman’s birth control method of choice; poking holes in a condom or removing it during sex; coercing a woman to carry out or end a pregnancy against her will through violence or threats; and intentionally exposing her to a sexually transmitted disease.

Can you imagine? Men DELIBERATELY getting your pregnant in order to make you have an abortion (who does this?!) or burden you with having a child you aren’t ready for, or deliberately giving you AIDS or herpes because if they have it, so does everybody else? What in the natural cuss, indeed.

Listen ladies, and listen good. Get yourself come birth control that can not be easily tampered with. There’s lots. Here’s an overview of what’s available. But that only solves the pregnancy sabotage, not the disease prevention. Condoms are you best bet for that, and even those are guaranteed if you partner refuses to wear them or takes them off during intercourse.

Bottom line is this: If a man demands, cajoles, or tries to sweet talk you out of using a condom, you must NOW consider this as a form of abuse. What’s more, you have to consider that if your man wants you to roll around bare back, he just might be trying to assault you with a deadly weapon–his rotting, diseased penis. If you don’t believe that these men exist  take a look here, here, and here. As you will discover, these predators come in all races, colors and creeds. However, when it come to pregnancy sabotage, I believe many women in the black community are victims–it’s the quickest way for an insecure man to knock a girl off of a pedestal she’s building for herself. Ladies, there are man and women who delight in the ruination of upwardly mobile black women. Trust and believe they are gleeful when they can drag you back into the barrel with them.

Editor’s note: This is a legitimate FEMINIST issue, and that I 1000% support. Just thought I’d add that so we’re clear…