Why has feminism become a dirty word?
Guest poster**(MissFLondon)**

The post is intended as tongue in cheek; no real offense meant, I just want to genuinely understand why the term startles some women and some men.

Chances are that you might be a low key feminist if you have ever:-

– Leased a house or car in your own name (and not that of your father or husband)

– Traveled alone without a chaperone

– Worked through some of your pregnancy (Or actually worked at all)

– Expected an equal salary for equal work

– Met up with a group of friends after 7 for any type of beverages without the assumption that you are all for sale.

I understand that the statements above are a catch-all and that is my intention. I am just trying to find out why some modern women are so quick to claim the benefits from the feminist agenda, yet so quick to denounce it? Fine, so you don’t see how it applies to your life; does that instantly make it a bad thing that is leading the youth astray?

The epic eye roll that almost injured me was ex-vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s vitriol against feminism. Not to mention the happily single multiple lover having Ann Coulter’s issues with us. You would think that these two women, espousing the lifestyle and the accompanying benefits would at least stay on the fence, rather than spew insults at the rest of us to gain favour with their male (and female) backers.

Is it the labelling thing? As a Black Women, a West African, an Atheist and a Feminist, I am often confronted with the embarrassing behaviour of one of these groups. It’s always a minority of the group, but they always manage to gain the most exposure. Whether it’s the strange black ladies with bird like hairstyles fighting on Youtube; Nigerian money scams; Atheists ambushing individual Christians for minor infractions (I have somehow found myself defending the cheapskate Christian in receipt-gate on another post)– this list could go on.

Is it the assumption that the label forces you to relinquish your femininity or even your heterosexuality and culture (I have been told that feminism is not really a black woman’s issue)?

Is it that as black women, you are already viewed as angry and man-hating and don’t feel that you can afford the added bra burning connotation? We can still raise our concerns without raising our voices.

I fully understand if you’re not quite ready to wear what you think is a large banner or burden; but we are all flawed and come in different molds – I for one would never slut-walk and have never paid half for a date, also I rather like gliding through pre-opened doors (though I don’t mind if the opener is male or female) and yes I would probably stay at home if I had children.

I assure you ; we are no more a monolith than Black Women. My love of feminine clothing and hair/ makeup and my belief in temperance has often put me at odds with more radical feminists, just as my love of indie pop has put me at odds with some black people. Additionally, there is the ever growing disagreement between white and black feminists about what our priorities should be and if they are excluding us intentionally or just aren’t interested in our point of view.

Black women are disproportionally hit by poverty, wage disparity, Misogyny, neglect and abuse – that’s even before dealing with DBRs’ and their attempts to guilt and groom us and our loved ones to accept all of the above and the accompanying negative effects on our health and happiness.

But is defeminising those of us who are at least trying to come to terms with the F word really helping? I am not trying to silence those who do not like the word or what they believe it stands for; I am simply trying to encourage women to understand that such an extreme shift against something that they are not making an effort to understand it might not help them in the long run.

So please spare a thought for those of us black girls who have pretty much the same interest in a good, stress-free life and a happy (and potentially interracial relationship) who are walking around with the weight of an extra label.