I’m about to get really real in here for a minute, and what I’m about to say is going to offend a lot of people. I understand that. And I need to first say I do not agree with this notion, but that doesn’t negate the FACT that these ideas persist. We’re having a pretty hot discussion about a woman who asked me if she, a never-married mother of five kids, might ever find love. Naturally, opinions were all over the place, and some of them weren’t so gentle.

Here’s the facts ladies, when it comes to the MALE MIND, understand that they take their cues from OTHER MEN. So when they see a woman with one or multiple children who has never been married, they make certain suppositions. They assume that the previous man (or men) did not place high enough value upon the woman to wife her up. And if the other guy didn’t see her value, that person MIGHT devalue you right out of the gate. That’s why divorced mothers with kids (doesn’t matter how many kids and/or husbands) she will often get a pass. A simple-thinking man will assume that this woman is soooo valuable that men not only procreate with her, but they marry her, so she MUST be something special. To the simple-minded man, she is the higher-value woman than the never-married one.

So when people say, “Well I might be a single never married mother, but many women do it right and still end up divorced!” And you know what? Those women, divorced, are not put into the same category as women who are never married.

This is not fair, this is a very simple-minded way of thinking, and I’m grateful that my husband of 12 years did not think this way when he learned that I was the never-married mother of one child. Those men are out there. I see them man up, marry up, and father up every day. They are not the majority, however. I just asked my husband about this piece, and he agrees. “There’s a difference between a woman who married and had three kids the ‘right’ way, and one who has three kids by multiple men. It speaks to her ability to make good choices.”

But I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that a lot of men will not take the time to give you the benefit of the doubt, and that’s why it so so important to understand the value of your bodies and your wombs. It is the feminine power that we possess and PLEASE comprehend the ramifications of not fully understanding it. No man is entitled to exploit you, your body or your womb. Learn from us. Know the game, and play it better.