I heard that when I was 25, and I shant ever forget it. I remember when I was in my twenties and would gain a few pounds drinking too many chocamochalattes in college, and all I needed to do was jump up in down in place for 5 minutes, and then I could fit into my favorite Calvin Klein’s. Even after I had Maxi-Me, the gud lawd keep the cellulite at bay.

Get to 30 and on the third kid, jumping up and down only serves to remind me I’ll be needing a boob job soon.

I know what you’re thinking right now. “Chris, NOT AGAIN! Not another you’re-fat-and-need-to-lose weight post that devolves in sharp nails and potato chip fights!”

I’ll give you a reprieve on that, because I think THIS post should be all about what YOU’RE doing to stay fit after the gods have turned their backs on you. I think this is a good way to go, because body types are different, and one routine that works for me–the dreaded APPLE, might not work for the more-fortunate PEAR.

If I gain an ounce it goes to my stomach first. This is BAD, because if your stomach sticks out farther than your boobs, I not really feeling the hawtness. So everything I do is focused on core exercises–the mid section of muscles the work like a girdle–to keep as much of an hourglass as I can. Yes; that’s me in the pic up top.

But not without tremendous effort. I HATE EXERCISING! Seriously. I hate it. But you know what I hate more? Diabetes.

So for me, the golden coin lies in fiber, which keeps me full for a long, long time. Combined with protein, it’s a winning combo to keep cravings at bay and while the protein (oh! and MSM) help with muscle definition. I work out 3 times a week, hardly any cardio, because I get that by cleaning a perpetually untidy 3,300-foot house and chasing a two-year-old who know how to unlatch her diapers.

So it’s weight bearing stuff like yoga, pilates and the bar method for me. I know some of you run, and…that’s nice. But I’d rather eat