I know I shouldn’t have done it. But…I did anyway. I peeped an article recap of Kanye West’s interview on “The Breakfast Club” where he got candid about his previous relationship with Amber Rose, who many identify as black (she is a mix of Italian and Cape Verdean, an area populated by decedents of African slaves). He basically says Amber was a stand in until the girl he really wanted was finished dating someone else. Some of his verbal excreta:

“If Kim dated me when I first wanted to be with her there wouldn’t be a Amber Rose.” TRANSLATION: I had to wait in the queue for Kim to be finished with the baller before I got my turn. 

Then he says this: “It’s very hard for a woman to want to be with someone who was with Amber Rose. She wasn’t sending nothing. I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim. Don’t ask me no more [laughs] I just want to be respectful.” TRANSLATION: Amber is a “dirty” black(ish) broad who’s not virginal. Kim is a “dirty” white broad who’s not virginal. But we all know when black women aren’t virginal they’re THOTS, but Kimmy can run through an entire football team and men like Kanye feel the need to “purify” themselves before their white goddesses.

One commenter said it best:

“So he didn’t have to take 30 showers after not only Ray J, but Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Chris Humphries…to name just a FEW!? and he was with her, sleeping with her, impregnating her and proposing to her WHILE she was married to someone else, but she feels some type of way about who HE was with? Man, miss me with all that. No one wants to be with Kim’s dirty a$$ except Kanye, so for him to say he had to take 30 showers just to get with her is bullsh*t. He married the ultimate hoe but wants to take shots at Amber? Go sit the freak down somewhere.”

Honestly, this post isn’t about Kanye, Kim, or Amber. It’s about how black women are always, ALWAYS held to a higher standard. You know the old saying that black people have to be twice as good to be as good? It’s usually reserved for reference in the job market. However, within the community, you have to be a virgin or you’re a whore, but a white woman can have multiple partners and the black men who want them will jump through whatever hoops necessary to win them over. That pedestal is real, ya’ll.

I recently met a unicorn. A black man with two degrees, former vice president of a Fortune 500 company and entrepreneur, married with kids. This man is educated, great looking, accomplished. He could have had his pick of any black woman he wanted. You know who he married? A fixer-upper white woman who was hooked on alcohol and drugs. That’s who he considered a prize over legions of quality black women who would have kicked their mama’s ass to be with him.

We always have to be better to be just as good, not just in a racist society, but within a community that treats its mothers like second-class citizens.

Yet…we’re the sellouts? Stop believing it. I want black women to stop jumping through hoops and feeling like they have to meet impossible standards on a playing field that will never be level. Go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated. Go where you’re not the runner up, but the grand prize.