Sigh.

Okay guys this is just a vent. But I’ll admit I’m getting kind of weary of grown men on You Tube starting beefs with me on You Tube. They are becoming a major distraction from the work I do, and honestly the ramped up vitriol is both disturbing and scary. You guys, it’s gotten so bad there I’m ready to pack it in. I have never in my life been dogged and harassed by a pack of bullies like this ever in my life, and for what?

For the five years I’ve been blogging, I’ve promoted the following messages:

• Black women deserve to have the same romantic options as every other woman in America. They deserve to be free to pick the BEST man for the job, period.
• Character above color, always.
• Black women need to walk away from abusive messages and actions from people who wish to leave them subjugated physically and psychologically because they feel there is no other place for them to go.
• Black women should focus on men who uplift, cherish, and embrace their beauty. They need to reject men infected with colorism and dry up the supply.
• Black women should put their mental, emotional and physical health first, and not be ashamed to seek help when needed.
• It’s not a black woman’s responsibility to “help a struggling brotha out” and if you’ve done the hard work of going to school, delaying gratification and working hard to achieve your goals, it is NOT your responsibility to reach back and dust people off. You deserve to find a man with equal or related accomplishments to you, and not wait around for your IBM (Ideal Black Man). “Ideal” can come in the package of an Asian man, white man, Hispanic man, Martian, whatever.
• Black women should reject the idea and expectation that you are to be a “baby mama factory,” and you are deserving of marriage and legitimate children being raised in a two-parent home, if that is what you so choose. (NoWeddingNoWomb.com)
• Black women deserve a man who displays competency to provide, protect and produce. And do so is not gold digging. It’s smart mate selection.
• I want black women to work to be the BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES, from the top of their heads to the tips of their toes, not because some pack of disgruntled men think their entitled, but for you, because when you feel your best, you know you deserve the best in others.
• I celebrate love across races, yes. But what I really want is for black women to find quality men of all races–black men are NOT excluded from this paradigm. But they are also NOT the focus. Don’t we have enough web sites, books, radio shows, preachers, internet sites and coaches to try and teach black women how to get a black man?? They’ve go that pretty much covered, don’t they?

As a result of these assertions, I’m a currently being bullied relentlessly on You Tube by grown men who should have something better to do with their time. I’m actually in shock at the amount of time and energy they keep putting in to this. What I have seen is beyond the absolute pale.

Is what I preach that revolutionary? The new argument is that my “ideals” are encouraging division in the black community. Really? Because I’m not sending messages FORCING black women to stay within a broken community and break their backs with no reciprocation? Because I’m telling black women LEAVE? Is that the fear? Scared you’ll lose your steady supply of women to perpetuate the 70% single stats, low marriage rates, high divorce rates, rampant abuse, and 73% out of wedlock rate? All these things existed before I came into this arena. But because I’m encouraging black women to throw up deuces, I’m tearing apart the community?? Come on!!! You just want your steady supply of women to run through, demean, debase, abuse, impregnate and dehumanize just so you can feel good about yourself.

I honestly try to put out some much positive energy in hope it will come back, and swimming in the muck on You Tube is having an emotional toll.

The only thing that keeps me going is all the letters, notes, and support I get from people who have discovered me on the forum and have been inspired to take a chance at love that they might have never thought they would or could. Many of these viewers are non-black men, who have had the courage to go for the women they’ve always wanted by were always too guarded to pursue.

And as for the bullies, there’s really nothing I can do. What they say and do falls under free speech, and as long and they’re not making any overt threats, they are free to say whatever they want, lie or truth, or misinformation. Honestly, my true fear comes from the disenfranchised men who watch those channels, who are easily manipulated and have little to lose.

I don’t know if there’s any solution to this, other than folding up my tent and moving on, but I’m not going to do that. Not a chance.

But…I do need your support. I want the Beyond Black & White channel to continue to grow, despite the haters. Show them we can’t be stopped. Back me. Give me your support. Subscribe to the channel. Let’s show them how big our voices can be. To subscribe, click here.