For this Thanksgiving, I thought it might be a little fun to give thanks to aallll the dudes that dogged you out, left you, cheated, used and abused you so you could make room for the REAL love of your life.

I’ll go first. I am so very, VERY thankful that Ronnie C. dumped me for Michelle with the Aqua Net Hair back in high school. This was my first love, and as you can see, he hasn’t quite aged…great. But trust me–in 11th grade he was thin, muscular, and the sexiest Latino in school.

When I found out he cheated, I was distraught for years afterwards. I begged him to get back with me. I drove him places in my car because the loser didn’t have one. I was a complete fool.

So why did I love him? Well, when he was into me, HE WAS INTO ME. He made me feel like the only girl in school. We made out in front of the lockers at lunch. He wrote me love letters and folded them in cool origami shapes. He laughed at my jokes.

Since our break up, he’s gone on to work at Burger King, after a stint in the joint. A fellow high school peer drank the Ronnie Kool-Aid and had his baby…and thank God that wasn’t me.

Funny thing is, my dad, who liked everybody, didn’t like him. Never did. He also didn’t like one other man I’d seriously dated, and on both accounts, he was right on the money.

Miss you, Daddy.

I suppose this is a good time as any to remind you that relationship wellness has a ratio. If it’s 2:1 feels good, stay. If it’s 2:1 feels horrible most of the time, be thankful you’re reading this in time to get out.

So who are you praising to Jesus on High that left you? What bullets are you grateful this year to have dodged?