I can’t tell you how puzzling I find it that the very people who mock black women about hating themselves are the reflections of the women hating themselves. I can’t tell you how many times in a week someone says I’m ugly because I’m dark skinned. And it happened once again in a harmless makeup video tutorial I did.

There was an exchange between a frequent commenter and someone with a “shell” account. She was complimenting me, and my somewhat conservative makeup routine–well; conservative when compared to others who perform multiple steps and layers and layers of this goo and that.

First off, understand that this is probably a man. The screen name, “Too Much Emphasis on Black Women” was the giveaway. He’s probably also transsexual. Second, see how he/she/it comments on features that are natural to black women–wide nose, large lips, dark skin–as unattractive? Notice how he/she/it comments that I am inherently ugly by virtue of my shade, while black men are glorified and deified when they are dark? Notice how he/she/it brags that she/he/it is light skinned, and by virtue, “super feminine?”

Now folks; I’ve been told crap like this my whole life. It’s the reason that, when I left the grips of the toxic portions of the community, I was utterly confused when people said I was beautiful. How could this be??

The height of frustration comes from the very people who MAKE us feel unworthy are complaining that WE ACT unworthy. I’ll give you another example. This is an exchange I had with another You Tube genius who made an asinine comment on the You Tube couple compilation we did on Valentine’s Day.

Read what Ramon J says. He says that light skinned black women are “used” to men doing nice things for them…why? Because, silly!!! They’re light, and therefore a much more excellent choice. He then chastises us by saying, “Most people date for the wrong reasons because they didn’t feel loved in the black community.” No shit, genius!!! You tell light women they are superior while simultaneously saying that dark skin is inferior, and it’s our fault for feeling inferior. I can not with this insanity!!!

Now I’ve often had people comment that I’m somehow contributing to the colorism problem in the black community because I’m encouraging black women to date interracially. Yes; because if I just go away, colorism will magically stop, and there will be no more mixed race girls for the “regular” black girls to compete with, even though black men are producing mixed race progeny at twice the rate as black women do??? Holy shit the logic of these folks.

I have never in my life seen this level of insidious and pervasive abuse against black women, and you’re damn right–I’m going to KEEP pointing this out.