You may wash and scrub every morning in the shower to squash that smelly bacteria waste that causes body odor, but you’ll just have to face the fact that you’ll never get rid of all of it–especially that little bacteria family that’s laid down real estate in your intestines. And like real life, you have good neighbors–you know, who mow their lawns and don’t park their old cars on the grass, and the bad neighbors who party all night playing JayZ and never met a weed they didn’t try to smoke. The key is to populate your gut with good neighbors, and use the means available to you to murder the bad ones. Because if you don’t, bad bacteria has been linked to everything from allergies, skin problems, anxiety, lethargy, bloating and Newt Gingritch.

Probiotics (L. acidophilus) are good bacteria that crowd out and destroy bad bacteria. You can find it in yogurt and kefir, and because white people are now excited about it, it has it’s own section of supplements in the refrigerated section. I won’t bore you with some laundry list, I’ll just first tell you what I use and what it’s done for me.

I mostly use Amazing Grass Greens with probiotics because it’s chocolate flavored, and chocolate flavor is my crack. It also has freeze-dried greens in there and some other healthy stuff. Since I started using probiotics, my seasonal allergies have essentially disappeared. I also don’t get as many colds (although I’m battling one right now since I’ve run out of Amazing Grass--coincidence? I don’t think so!) and I have more energy. Here’s why this is happening for me: Studies indicate that most of your immune function happens in the gut. The extra energy I have is because the healthy bacteria allow for proper absorption of B vitamins.

Another supplement I’ve incorporated is something called Candida Check, a gel pill composed of thyme, clove rosemary and eucalyptus oils that work to combat yeast in the mouth, uh…”lady parts,” and intestines.

From Candida Check’s press materials:

An overgrowth of yeast in the intestines has long been thought to play a role in leaky gut syndrome and irritable bowel disease (IBS). In general, the more yeast present in your intestines, the less room there is for the healthy good bacteria that play such a crucial role in having a strong immune response. By squeezing out these important, protective bacteria, yeast overgrowth can set the stage for a compromised immune system. There are even integrative medical practitioners who feel that yeast overgrowth contributes significantly to chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. So even though a “yeast” infection may seem trivial, the implications are far-reaching and can damage health dramatically.

Here’s the kicker–as I’m trying to reduce my sugar intake for health reasons (we’ll talk about that later) my sugar cravings have gone through the roof. Turns out it’s not just in my head–the evil yeast colonies that thrive and survive on sugar are making me eat all those cakes and cookies.

Bastards.

Sugar cravings can be common and this is understandable. Yeast thrives on sugar. The resulting weight gain and sluggishness are simply a part of this phenomenon. The problem is that the very sugar that you might crave simply feeds the yeast in your body, which makes you crave even more.