First and foremost, I’m so grateful for all the letters I get from men of various races who have had their eyes opened about dating black women. Surprising as it seems, there’s a ton of men of ALL races (especially Asian) who have wrongfully believed seriously dating black women weren’t even a serious dating open until recent years.

In that same vein, one such man in his early 40’s who hails from Canada but lives in the United States recently reached out and thanked me for this community and told me that he is head over heels with a woman who is black for the first time. I asked him, “What makes it different from the white and Asian women you have primarily dating your whole life?” He answered with something that I thought was kind of ironic, but also profound.

“Dating a girlfriend, getting to know her, and falling in love with her was like that song, ‘A Long Walk’ from Jill Scott. This is kind of ironic, because Scott is on record not being a big fan of interracial relationships–at least when it comes to seeing black men do it. I asked the writer what was it about that song personified his experience. But before I get to that, here’s the video and lyrics.

You’re here, I’m pleased
I really dig your company
Your style, your smile, your peace mentality
Lord, have mercy on me
I was blind, now I can see
What a king’s supposed to be
Baby I feel free, come on and go with me

Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe we can talk about Surah 31:18

Your background it ain’t squeaky clean shit
Sometimes we all got to swim upstream
You ain’t no saint, we all are sinners
But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner
I respect that, man you’re so phat
And you’re all that, plus supreme
Then you’re humble man I’m numb
Yo with feeling, I can feel everything that you bring

Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe we can talk about Revelation 3:17

Or maybe we can see a movie
Or maybe we can see a play on Saturday (Saturday)
Or maybe we can roll a tree and feel the breeze and listen to a symphony
Or maybe chill and just be, or maybe
Maybe we can take a cruise and listen to the Roots or maybe eat some passion fruit
Or maybe cry to the blues
Or maybe we could just be silent
Come on, Come on

Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe we can talk about Psalms in entirety

Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe we can talk about Psalms in entirety

Or maybe we can see a movie
Or maybe we can see a play on Saturday (Saturday)
Or maybe we can roll a tree and feel the breeze and listen to a symphony
Or maybe chill and just be, or maybe
Maybe we can take a cruise and listen to the Roots or maybe eat some passion fruit
Or maybe cry to the blues
Or maybe we could just be silent
Come on,

Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe baby, maybe we can save the nation
Come on, Come on

He mentioned that with dating his girlfriend, and a small collection of other black women before getting serious, he found a commonality–they really wanted to get to know who he was as a person, and that he didn’t have to be perfect and that he didn’t have to pull out full court to get to know them. “They were so real, and so rich with it. It was incredibly sexy.”

My Canadian fan is also a businessman and runs a successful company. He’s a minor millionaire. So when he said that he felt like the courtships could be “simple and real,” I asked him if that meant that he had to make less of an effort to woo them as compared to white and Asian women. “When I mention the ‘realness,’ it doesn’t mean that I give any less effort in spoiling the shit out of my girlfriend–because I do. But honestly she makes me want to do MORE of that, because she really SEES me.”

In any case, I thought the conversation was definitely worth the share. If you’d like to reach with some notes, suggestions or questions, hit me up at [email protected].