Dear Light-Skinned-Pro-Black-Nothing-Butta-Brotha-For-Me Women,

I need to ask you a favor. I’ve noticed lately in social media a lot of posts and videos with light skinned, silky-haired black(ish) women shaming darker hued black women for finding love interracial dating. You are called us “traitors to our race, sell-outs and bed wenches.” You seem more angry than the men about it. Why, though?

As a black woman, it’s VERY easy to be pro-black man dating ONLY when you are light skinned, with long wavy or curly hair. The most pro-black women I’ve ever seen in my life fit this bill, because they almost ALWAYS are favored over “regular” black looking women like me.

It’s one of the reasons I started dating interracially. If I hadn’t, I would have had a much harder time finding a mate of quality because I’d be contending with a bunch of colorist, shallow folks who like to ignore the rampant, hurtful and damaging effects of JUDGING ME FOR THE COLOR OF MY SKIN. Folks want to act like it doesn’t exist, but those who aren’t on the receiving end of that privilege know it is. I have three girls and two of them are biracial, I have taught them from birth that beauty comes in all shades. My husband’s family never understood this color hierarchy (ironically), but in my family, I’ve had to carefully navigate them around people who would put this toxic mess in their heads.

I’m continuing to tell dark black women to stop competing in a game they can not win. No shade (pun intended) against my light skinned sisters, but I can’t stand when some judge darker skinned black women like me and accuse them of “betraying the race” by dating and marrying interracially when you know DAMN WELL your experiences differ greatly from mine. Don’t you dare judge us for going where we’re celebrated. And that’s why you STAY where you are, because you KNOW you’re in the #1 spot for colorist, pro-black, hypocritical zombies.

Do you decry us in interracial unions because you fear that if too many leave you won’t have enough of us to feel superior to? Please, help me understand why you refuse to acknowledge this dynamic. You’re as bad as those who deny white privilege. Eh. Guess it’s just easier to call us bed wenches and the white man’s whore. Never mind it was a white man’s daughter that probably (willingly) aided in creating you so you could even exist to judge us.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who (Proudly) Swirls