Recently a white male fan who asked me what he needed to do to attract a beautiful black woman. I check out his Facebook page–he could stand to lose 50 pounds and was between jobs.

Dear Christelyn

I have struggled with my weight all my life. I’ve tried diets and all the “normal” stuff People suggest that I should do. I also know I need to do what I have to do to attract a quality woman like yourself. However, I struggle with the motivation to continue with whatever regimen I’m on to lose weight. I struggle with the motivation to continue when I don’t see results. I did lose weight over the past 3 years just by walking, but that was because of necessity from not having a car. I Had to walk everywhere and to bus stops to catch the bus to go across town. Now I have a car, and as a result, I haven’t been walking as much as I should because walking for my health seem too much like a chore as opposed to walking out of necessity. I have regained some of the weight I have lost. I probably need to change my mindset about using walking as an exercise.

The rule of thumb is this: The less successful you are, the more fit you need to be to get the types of women this writer wants. Overweight can be overlooked if you’re a master at a trade. That’s not just for black women, but for ALL women. (Of course, I’m speaking in generalities).

By rule of thumb, the less financially successful the man, the more he should strive to look like this.

Conversely, as a woman, the more fit you are, the higher chance you’ll catch the eye of successful men. However, the financial compromise that men enjoy won’t be the same for women. Fatter women who are rich aren’t going to necessarily attract attractive, fit and successful men. Men are way too visual.

I know this sounds harsh. But I had no hand in creating this formula. It was there long before me.

The closer you look like this, the more attractive you are to successful men.

I felt I needed to write this because I’ve increasingly had more people reaching out to me feeling frustrated that they can’t find a mate with the type of people they are attracted to. Especially in this Facebook and Instagram-heavy world, looks matter more than ever before.

So as you make (or break) your New Year’s resolutions, keep that in mind, and maybe take a few more minutes on the treadmill.

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