There are a lot of ‘level up’ conversations happening in black women’s social media circles as of late. Heated debates over kinky vs. straight hair to attract high-quality men, hundreds of dollars being spent on Sephora hauls for eyeshadow palettes, consultations with plastic surgery doctors. All of this in order to catch the gaze of rich and successful men who have all the choices in the world on who to date and marry.

Don’t get me wrong. Looks are important, to be clear. Men are visual creatures and your beauty is currency. But if you think for one second that the shell of a pretty woman is all it takes to land the best man, you would be wrong. Good looks are necessary, but not sufficient. 

While you go on your physical ‘level up’ journey, don’t neglect your MENTAL one. That lipgloss might make you look sultry and sophisticated, but what comes out of your mouth could completely ruin the illusion. If your goal is to “secure the bag and keep the bag,” then you’ll also need to bone up on your knowledge of current events, who the movers and shakers are in the environment you wish to enter, know the rules and protocols of the setting, and speak clear and proper diction.

Take Meghan Markle as an example. Yes, she is gorgeous and well dressed. Her looks caught the eye of Prince Harry, who had his choice of legions of other beautiful women. But what kept his attention on Meghan was her intelligence, success in her own right, knowledge of the world and how to navigate in it, and her personal passions to provide relief to the less fortunate. To be a royal, Harry just taught us that good looks are necessary for him, but not sufficient.

No doubt that there are “certain” types of wealthy men who won’t find it necessary for the women they date to cultivate a vibrant intellect. That’s because most of those men got their riches not because of brain power and ambition, but from sports or entertainment or inheritance. If the guy is a rich dummy, he won’t mind if you’re a dummy too. But I would hazard to guess there are a lot of rich dummies. You know the saying: a fool and his money are quickly parted.

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