Well, this is it guys. I’ve had all’s I can stand and I’s can’t stand no more. I have come to realize that I really do hate black men, and I must ask for penance. So, effective immediately, I am shutting down this site and divorcing my husband in hopes that I and my four children will be taken back into the fold. I am planning on joining a church full of single mothers and wear Chiquita banana hats.

I also admit that I am an imposter. I also really hate black women, and don’t want to see their progress. Although I have been exposed as a black man hater, somehow I am also a black woman-hater, and generally give bad advice, so, I will engage in some sort of self-flagellation immediately after this post. Oh…and after careful consideration, I also have to admit, with all my many awards and accomplishments, my ability to grow this blog from mere obscurity to a Google page ranking of “4,” is unequivocal proof that I am, indeed, a “PR pro.”

Also, some other true confessions:

I am actually 350 pounds and am on 243 medications.

I don’t really have a book deal with Simon & Schuster.

I’m not really married.

No Wedding No Womb is a farce. I REALLY want black girls and women to have stables and stables of out-of-wedlock babies for when the race war starts.

“Maxi-Me” is not my oldest daughter’s real name.

I am, indeed, having an affair with Matthew Hussey.

I am actually a white woman living in Wichita, Kansas.

I HATE healthy foods, and I NEVER exercise.

I hate yoga and pilates.

I only married my husband for the money, and I am a “semi-prostitute.”

It is for all these things that I have no other choice but to shut down this blog immediately. I am a complete fake, masquerader, pretender, imitator, deceiver, hoaxer, trickster, fraudster, swindler; fake, fraud, sham, phony, scammer.

Oh…and one more thing….

APRIL FOOL’S!!!!!!!!!!!

SORRY HATERS! AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!