Written by Saran Lawson

Not too long ago, Ayesha Curry was trending on social media; not for her love of family or her career,  rather, it was for her comment on insecurity. This sparked a debate that lured everyone with an opinion. The big question is, “Should Married Women seek Attention Outside of Their Marriage?”. The responses garnered were polar. They ranged from empathy and sympathy to hell and damnation.

I took this issue from another angle. Of course, I can sympathize with any human who looks back at their youth. Especially, after going about life for years and wonders if they are still attractive. Not in the, My husband or wife thinks I’m attractive kind of way. “Do you really find me attractive still or am I attractive because you love me”, has crossed your mind. This has little to do with the health of your relationship. It has to do with your view on self. Anyone who is everyone can attest to hearing someone tell them how great they are all the time. Yet still, say to themselves, “Am I?”. People who love us can are biased and hearing it from several strangers can be an ego boost. I’ve heard the argument, “This type of thinking can lead to cheating.”. Cheating like many other things is a choice. Compliments from strangers aren’t going to make her panties drop any faster than her husbands could. In other words if Steph hasn’t cheated from hearing it all day every day, then she’ll be fine. The real issue is feminism, hear me out.

First, let me say most people haven’t seen the whole interview or failed to pay attention to anything else. Her mother in law said that she likes when women pay her man attention. It’s an ego boost, as long as he isn’t feeding into it. No one took issue with that. It was only when Ayesha said she would like the same attention Steph is getting. The conversation is being dominated by Steph’s career. People have forgotten one key thing. Ayesha has had a public career since she was a teenager. Prior to her marriage she was an actress. She is now a superstar chef and mogul. She has a career and when people meet her she is recognized as Steph’s wife.  People aren’t running up to her asking her to sign cookbooks. With all this talk surrounding what she said, the emphasis is on her reaching the highest honor of being a basketball wife. Everyone is saying, your husband is rich and he is this basketball superstar. What more can you want? A woman should only want attention from her husband. I can agree that as a married woman, her husband’s attention should be important. However, she is a person outside of being Steph’s wife and a mother. Everyone wants people to love them. Whether they admit it or not, it’s a basic human need. It’s not coming from the angle, “I want to cheat.” It’s coming from the angle, “Notice me. I’m not just a wife.”. I think anyone can understand that.