By Bobbie Genus

While visiting my family the last time I was in my hometown of Houston for the holidays I entered my twelve-year-old niece’s bedroom. It had the typical preteen girl’s décor; lavender painted walls, pink bed sheets with matching princess pillows, a picture of a puppy… And a Justin Beiber poster, a doll of the pop crooner rested on her bookshelf. I made a mental note.

A few weeks ago when I spoke to her on the phone I asked if she was a fan of One Direction, the latest British boyband invasion I was starting to see constantly one my television screen. Her response of course was, “Oh my gosh yes! I love them! Harry is so cute!” It was an answer I expected. I remember at her age being obsessed with Nsync, collecting any magazine they were in, buying their albums the first week they were released. I also remember at her age fully realizing my attraction to white men. I didn’t ask her if she found herself attracted more to a particular “type” of boys. I want her to after all see people for what they are regardless of race. I also didn’t want to project any biased and have her base her own opinions on what she finds attractive. Having experienced it myself however, I knew that the signals seem to be pointing to her swirling when she is older.

Then it made me a bit anxious. Chances are she will have to face the same challenges I did at her age when it came to the opposite sex. Being a young woman is difficult and awkward as is. Everyone goes through the stress of worrying if your crush likes you, but there is added anxiety when he is of different race. Does he not like me because I’m black? Does he feel like the attraction isn’t mutual? Is he afraid of what his family and friends will think? These questions have gone through our minds as adults much less as teenagers.

Growing up in the south, finding a rainbeau was even harder. I might as well have searched for a leprechaun riding a unicorn over a rainbow. There are still plenty of good ol’ boys that feel that God made races separate for a reason. This sentiment continues to be passed down through the generations. Others may not agree, but face cowardice to practice interracial dating themselves. I spent many Friday nights at home in front of the television as my friends went on group dates. Friends, never a boyfriend, accompanied me to school dances. Even then I had to ask them myself.

One would assume there would be more tolerance as the years go by. We have indeed progressed as a nation. Recent polls show that one in twelve marriages are of interracial couples. However, as many as 29% of GOP voters in Mississippi believe that mixed marriages should be illegal. Many of us still continue to encounter ridicule not only from other cultures, but even our very own people that condemn the love we share with our rainbeaus. We can only hope that the progression proceeds.

I wonder if she will endure the same obstacles and heartaches I did. Perhaps she’ll feel the need to explain and justify her attractions to friends who question and berate her opinion. I dread that one day she will be completely enamored with her rainbeau only to be told, “We can’t be together. My family will never accept you”.

Yet, if she is to suffer through the drama filled, angst riddled highs and lows that encompasses being a teenager, I would be more than willing to encourage her to not let what feels like a catastrophe change what she truly feels and wants. I would tell her in hindsight they are minor issues that you will learn from and help mold you into being stronger. If you want to swirl, baby girl, by all means get your swirl on! There will always be rainbeaus who won’t be afraid to pass a note with his number on it from across the classroom, hold your hand in front of his friends, and introduce you to Mom before going to the homecoming dance. Swirling is not new, and it is not going away!