I always come to BB&W with my woes, because like many, this is a safe place. I can share my hopes, my joys and sorrows, and I know I have a gaggle of friends who are on my side. This is one of those times where I’m not afraid to admit vulnerability.

Since the news about “Swirling” becoming a movie, I think I need to make a decision to stop reading the comments section on blogs and such.

The amount of viciousness, hate and jealously I have received from folks I have never met has truly hurt my heart. I am not made of steel, and the words, scoffs and hurtful comments have and are affecting me, and I need to figure out a good way to deal with it. Some successful folks have told me to just “buck up” and brush off the haters, and I try. But when total strangers–people who don’t know you from Adam–are hell bent determined to undermine and poison the pot against you, I must admit it’s daunting. And for the life of me, I’m trying to figure out what I did and who I did it to to get all this negativity thrown my way–I really am. I know I’ve offended some GAT-DL folks, but hell–they had it coming and deserve it. I guess I just need some words on encouragement from people I know really care about me, because sometimes ya’ll, I just want to throw up my hands and call it a day. It would be so easy–I could pack it in and EASILY get a gig making 10 times as much as I get doing this.

I won’t though–because that would mean they would win, and Lord knows I’m too damn stubborn to see that happen, but in the still, dark night, I’ll cry in my pillow, because it’s high school all over again.

I know people think life for me is all sweets and ice cream, but it’s not always. I am human, and I hurt, and I bleed and I cry. I just wish people would realize that. Some folks who spend so much time writing anthologies about why everyone should hate me should really think about a hobby or something.

In other news, I’m in Westport with The Hubster’s family, and having a great time. Was going to write all about that, but I’ll think it’ll have to wait until I can stop tearing up long enough to get a clear view of the computer screen.