I’ve never felt that I was inferior because I am a black woman. I never let anyone else make me feel inferior either. I always knew I was special and I always kept my head up.

When I was a teenager and I realized that I preferred white boys over black ones, it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t find a man to love me. I knew I would. I completely got that the white boys where I lived weren’t the ones I wanted so I didn’t care that they didn’t want me. If I had married one of them, I would have been expected to have a bunch of babies, work at one of the factories, buy a big house, go to the PTA dinners and never leave the small town where I was living. That was not the life I wanted and I knew there were men out there who didn’t want it either.

I looked at magazines and I realized that white girls were the favorites on Madison Avenue. They were in every ad and I knew they were the model we were being measured by. That wasn’t right and I knew it. Black women have a completely different appeal and our standard of beauty should be measured within our group. To compare us to white women is just wrong. I did not ever look at a white woman and wish I looked like her. I kind of liked my own face very much, thank you. I have always liked my skin color. I’m just fine with me.

I never had problems with men. I knew that all men weren’t going to find me attractive just as I didn’t find them all attractive. If a guy was eyeballing the blondes, I knew that he wasn’t going to wink at me. And that was all right. I knew one would come in soon who was looking at me. I didn’t worry about it.

Now I’m not saying that I have never had moments of insecurity. I have. We all do. But I never thought that being a black woman was keeping me from having the love I wanted or the life I wanted. I knew it would work out.

I don’t care what the haters say. Those black men who denigrate us and tell us we aren’t good enough are afraid. Black women have been loyal and faithful for a long time and are just beginning to see that it doesn’t make sense to sit on the sidelines and wait for men who clearly don’t want us.
We have defended black men and stood by them even when they were stomping us, rejecting us and hurting us. Some of us are seeing the light for the first time and are willing to look at rainbeaus as a viable choice for us. It’s time. Welcome to the new world, sistas. Black men know they are losing our support and love and they are afraid. And I don’t care.

Stop worrying about what somebody else says or wants or does. Be positive. Have you ever seen the way David Bowie looks at Iman? And have you read the love letter Roger Ebert wrote to his beloved Chaz? There are men out there that will love us just like that. Don’t even think about the ones that don’t.

I know I am worthy. I know I am beautiful, sexy, alluring, captivating, hypnotizing and magnificent. And you, my beautiful sistas, you are too. And there are men that love us. Every one of us.

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