To this rather wonderful article there were a series of comments, one of which got my attention in a BIG WAY. Read this comment submitted by “Noon Yi” (bolding by me):
These men have a right as grown A$$ men to decide whom they perfer to date; this is the reason MANY black women are not married, because ya’ll seem to try o tell black men how to think, want to change his decion, and give the impression you can tell US what we are supposed to want and like. The slave masters raped our black women for a long long time and black men sat back and watched, psychologically how can you blame black men for being inconsciously turned on by white women? Men forget that thier deep seated hate for the white man inturns make them want their women lighter skin. Note: I have friends who are immigrants of Morroco and Algeria and all they want is dumb pale white women for the benefit og their green card- they say black and latino women are not passive and they are in more ways then other deemed “hardened”.So lets put things in perspective- even if you were the right color you still have to work on that image of being “Hardened “by not being so judgemental and stop thinkn you know every freakin thing
Of course this grammatically-challenged nincompoop was taken to task for his assumptions that all black women care that black men date out, but I was shocked that nobody, NOBODY said a thing about that bolded section. The complete revelation of dysfunction in all its honest glory in that segment admittedly stunned me. This person just told black women everywhere the absolute truth as to why men like those mentioned in the article itself behave in the ridiculous, colorist way they do towards black women.
The ugly truth is this: These fools see themselves as the “helpless emasculated slaves”, white men as “the master, alpha, and holder of their true masculinity*” and black women as “the mate they could not save from the horrors of slavery, meaning they failed as men and are even further emasculated”. What do they see non-black women as? The “gateway to recovered masculinity” with whom they can breed non-black or at least light-skinned daughters for future magically-still-dark-skinned sons, whose beauty they will appreciate because it does not remind them that they are failures as men.
This is why the standard of African American beauty in the entertainment industry and black media has pretty much never been dark-skinned. If you’ve wanted an answer as to why this was, Noon Yi was good enough to give it to you: Too many black men in these industries and in places of power cannot stand the sight of black women because it reminds them that they are inadequate. WE make THEM feel inadequate. Or rather, they ELECT to see themselves as inadequate and blame us for their masculine woes. In their minds, it’s easier to blame us for supposedly being “too manly”. Taking back their masculinity from the white men directly is a moot point apparently; better to breed away the black and recover some masculinity by way of the white wife’s genes.
…It’s like watching a fireworks display in Hell: I can comprehend what I’m seeing, but only barely. And I still want to run as far away from the bizarre chaos as possible.
In any case, this one of the most overt admissions of self-loathing and confusion I’ve seen. For the most part these men understand that you can’t just go around saying you won’t put black women in videos because they don’t make you feel like a man. You can’t just say that you have a “slave complex” and that’s why you don’t want kids with dark-skinned black women. Such omissions do not effectively cover for the self-esteem so clearly lacking.
So, what to do? I know! Try and make it the fault of black women for being…well, black. Use phrases like “hardened” and “difficult” and “uppity”. Tell black women they’re single due to having standards too high and being too educated. Say that dark-skin is not pretty enough, not feminine enough. Tell the world that black men just don’t want black women and need to marry out because they can’t deal with our issues. Try to not only explain your compulsion to date interracially (because love, what is that?), but as an added bonus, make as many non-black men wary of us as possible. After all, if you see black women as “damaged goods”, you don’t think anyone else should want to love them or treat them with respect, right?
We can tell ourselves that such displays of blatant colorism and intra-racism mean nothing, but that would be a lie. So long as black women continue to bring black men into the world, it will continue to mean something. I can think of fewer painful things than realizing that your son hates you for being his mother, because you didn’t bring him into the world as something other than a black man. Or as a consolation, possess a womb that was the right color. There is no telling when and where this self-hatred took hold, but you don’t have to contribute. Cut such persons out of your life and don’t give a red-cent to men who pander this hatred of you.
*I say this because it’s been tens of thousands of years since reproductive functions and capabilities were at the forefront of masculinity. Allusions may exist in the form of symbolism and certain terminology, but true power is determined based on characteristics that aren’t directly related to sex and sexual prowess. Such men do themselves no favors by attempting latch onto white racist stereotypes about bodily functions that give no real power.