As I sit in a bar in the resort in Cancun with The Hubster, I glance around the scene. Non-black women young and old are gathering around. We just finished dinner and spoke to two couples in their twenties we met the previous day in the bluest ocean of pee-temperatured water ever (!!).  Out of the blue Hubster says, “Yeah, one of those wives isn’t going to age well.”

“Who? Oh the Missouri folks.How do you know?”

“Men can just tell. We age the girl like 20 years and look to the mother to get a preview of what the daughter might look like.”

“So…that’s really a thing?”

“It really is.”

“Did you do that when you started dating me?”

“Oh yeah. Looked at your mom; figured I’d be in good shape. When I’m 60 folks will think I’ve won the dating lottery because they’ll figure you’re twenty years younger than me.” (There’s only 9 months age difference between us). While still handsome, my husband is greying, has deep smile lines, and his neck is beginning to look…papery. But good for him, there’s nothing like a well-seasoned man…

But the well-seasoned look for a woman is a bit more problematic, and I observe with wonderment at the lengths fairer-skinned women go through to preserve themselves, and most of it just looks obvious.

This…

Versus this…

And this…(Angela Bassett is 50)

And of course who can ignore how David Bowie has aged compared to the goddess that is Iman.

Let’s face it. The time that we are young and at our peak is rather brief compared to a typical American lifespan. You’re older a lot longer than you’re younger. While all women reach their peak of fertility at around the same time (20-30’s), other biological clocks related to cellular degeneration in black skin is much, much slower, especially if you take good care of it. That means sunscreen EVERY time you leave the house. Every. Time. Black may not crack, but it can sag by the breakdown of collagen, which happens with sun damage.

The irony is, ladies, is the very skin that we were taught to believe was inherently inferior is in fact the most superior skin type of all women everywhere. Our skin is an asset. And don’t think for one moment non-black men don’t consider this. They do. A lot.

Time to RE-LEARN and RE-FRAME. Your dark skin is an asset. The best quality skin in the world.