Ever wonder what it’s really like living and working overseas in an Asian country? Take a read at BB&W fan, Nikki Bright’s account in our interview…

What gave you the inspiration to work in China?

China was not my first choice. My son and I had traveled to Beijing for his 18th birthday. I remember enjoying my time there, but thinking to myself ‘There is no way in HELL I could live behind the wall’. I always wanted to live in Europe (Germany or Spain) but the economy was on the fritz in the EU, and most countries in Europe want you to have a masters before they will consider you for teaching. So, I looked to Asia. Korea was a first choice.  I was avoiding China like the plague, but after I had a recruiter in Korea basically tell me that I was too old (42), too dark, too heavy, and not attractive enough and it would be too hard to help me find a job I decided to give China a try.  I did my research on black women living in China. I came across Jo Gan’s blog, and asked her some opinions about her life in China. I also spoke to a few other people.  They had various opinions. I went with my gut, and began the process of looking for a job in China.

What company/source did you use to apply for your job? How did you prepare for working overseas?

I did lots of research online. Since I had decided on the ESL track I got online and began my search. I found some great resources one led me to the next.  After I received the certification, I used their placement agency.  I received my TESOL via Oxford Seminars.  They hooked me up with my first job in China.   I began reading different articles and blogs about living and working abroad. I specifically looked for American women of color and searched out their experiences.  Many of the women I reached out to are now on my FB page. Their words, encouragement and stories really inspired me to step out on faith. I also began stocking up on hair and make-up products.

What did you expect to achieve (both romantically and professionally) during your stay there?

Romantically?  I honestly have no idea. I’ve met many black women who are really into Asian men. Generally, that’s not my cup of tea so to speak. I am more of a European white male, or Central/South American male type of girl.  I think I was hoping for some hot European men who weren’t strictly into their Asian women fetish, or preference.

Professionally I was looking for change, a start to this part of my life. I was looking to finally live a dream that I’ve had since I was 15 years old.  I’ve found so many different opportunities here, and chances to grow.

Were the realities of your journey different than what you imagined?

God yes! They are so much different. I came here with the idea that China was a hugely poverty stricken country where there was little to no personal wealth. I was dead wrong. There are so many very wealthy people here. Of course many of them tend to be concentrated in certain areas. Of course Shanghai, then there are the different provinces, Zheizhong (sounds like juh jong), Jiangsu (Jahngsue) and some others that have many very wealthy people.  I know this is silly, but the number of really tall people is funny to me. Of course Yao Ming is very tall, but I have had many students who are built like American football players.  The women are generally thin, but I’ve come to learn that bulimia is not an eating disorder here, it is weight management.  Chinese women are far from docile, and just because they are smiling and being nice doesn’t mean that they are being honest. I have had bad with good, but it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.  I have learned many things about myself.  The beauty of going to a strange land where you clearly stick out is that you find a new confidence. You know how to define yourself without letting the thoughts and opinions of others overtake your own. It’s been a great experience though not without its faire share of bullshit.

How did the surrounding community receive you? How did the local men interact with you?

The responses have varied.  In the first town I was in there was a lot of laughing, pointing and staring.  There were the obligatory hand gestures implying my size and skin color is different.  Chinese people love to take pictures especially if you are different and you are not looking, lol. The people would yell and scream hello. They’d yell out Obama, LeBron James, or Kobe Bryant. That was their way of letting me know how much they liked either America or black people in general.  There is also a huge fear of difference, and blackness. I saw a lady with the cutest chubbiest baby smile at my colleagues (white and Chinese) and then she saw me she screamed, grabbed up the baby, covered the child’s face and ran into the building. Her daughter saw this, and was clearly very angry.  She went in behind her, yelling, got the baby and brought her back outside so the baby could see me. So reactions range from laughably, disturbingly ignorant to better informed and engaging. You expect both, and you move on.

The men’s reactions varied.  I have had people make very explicit hand gestures about what they want me to do. I have had money offered to me, and seriously not enough money to buy a half decent dinner.  I can get past the hooker thing, but being mistaken for a cheap whore is an entirely different animal.  I have also had a similar experience in Barcelona.  This may come from the African women that work as prostitutes here in China.  I have been invited out to coffee, and told that I am very beautiful. The big one is sexy. Sexy in China means you have big boobs. My male students tell me that I am the hottest teacher, lol.  You have to be very careful here. Men over a certain age are generally married.  Wives realize that husbands cheat. They don’t like it, but some are ok, because they do the same thing.  Also, the young ones are very interested in foreigners. However, they are often bound by duty and responsibility to the family. I have watched several western women friends (black and white) date Chinese men.  I will say that none of these women are skinny. They are all attractive, but they are shapely to plus size.  I have had some very positive things happen, but it is not always smooth sailing. I have been called, fat, ugly, too dark, too old, elderly, etc.  So, you get it from all ends of the spectrum. Overall I have built a thicker skin, and learned to embrace my own beauty.  One thing I will say about many of the Chinese women I meet is that they have a healthy acquaintance with insecurity. I have never met so many women who are very attractive think they are fat and ugly and put themselves down. It’s disturbing because eating an apple a day, or a few crackers, or bulimia are real diet tools here.  This is not all Chinese women, but it is a very significant number of women.  Chinese men and women tend to be shy about the way they approach if they do at all.

What’s your next step? What do you plan to do next?

I am currently working on my M.E., and getting my teachers license, so I can begin working at the better International Schools.  These are the schools with American, British or Canadian core curriculum. I am moving to Shanghai this week, and I’m quite excited. The men in Shanghai are open to dating other than Chinese. Of course I will have a chance to join meet up groups, and explore more things that I enjoy doing. So, that is exciting for me. I guess small towns are not for me. As a matter of fact I must be there by the 20^th to register with the police.

The best advice I can give anyone is to step out on faith. Of course, research before you go anywhere. I searched online, asked questions, looked at other black women who had gone out and done their thing. I discussed it with family and friends.  I found many people were supportive and encouraging but were totally surprised when I actually left. Some were upset, some were happy, and some where just confused, lol.  Just know that there are other women out there like you who are living their dream. Know that they are doing their thing, and most of us will support you. I have always been supported by the women out there. It is an amazing feeling.  I wish any and everyone good luck on their journey. Embrace it and step out.