I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Rasheda for a couple years, so I knew about the highs and lows of her singlehood. She was featured as a “Goddess of the Week” back in the day, remember? I’m seriously tickled that she found her rainbeau, and that she chose to share her story with us.

–Chris

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I had just ended an on and off again quasi relationship with Mr. Non-Committal in April 2012. We had an open relationship of sorts. The one where I date other people casually while he sits at home watching sports, eating take out and drinking beer. He was a nice guy who was a good provider and had a loving family who accepted me as one of their own, but he lacked everything else I wanted and needed in a man – enthusiasm, self-expression and sensitivity. I had longed for a man who would send me flowers, give me compliments, talk about the possibility of a future with me and demonstrate those words with actions.
Fast forward a month, I started dating a fun and exciting guy who for the purpose of this entry I will call J. Evan. I met him in a singles group on www.Meetup.com. I co-organize social events for singles as a hobby. J. Evan was fun. We flirted for a few months and then started going out on one-on-one dates. We were pretty inseparable. But since there was no commitment, I continued to date other people.
Some people may think – “wow that woman is a serial dater.” But I have always been the type who gets bored easily, and because of past hurts, I never wanted to be the one to be sideswiped.  Anyway, by the time August came around, my profile on OkCupid, a free online dating site, was getting a lot of attention from decent men with jobs and hobbies. Black, white, Latino and Asian men were hitting me up equally. But one guy stood out – Brandon G. He had sincere questions and I got an overall positive vibe from him.
I saw that he was a 36-year-old divorced father who had a cat, loved to travel and worked in the automotive industry with an income in the $75-$100K range. I was intrigued. Not too thrilled about the divorcee dad aspect, but I made it a goal to be more open minded in dating.
We emailed a couple times through the site and he noted that he’d like to go out some day. First of all, dude had on sunglasses in all of his pics. Second, I would never accept a date from a guy who I haven’t spoken with via phone. I politely asked him to email me a photo (sans shades) and gave him my number to call me. He did both immediately. We met in person for a first date on August 29, 2012. He was super nice and good looking (though kind of nerdy). While I thought he was cool, all of that past chatter was coming up. “He has too many kids. He has baggage being divorced. He wears ugly jeans.” LOL. I was trying to find reasons not to like him. We ended the date with a hug. He didn’t try to kiss me except for on the hand. I actually liked that.
Two days later while sitting in my office, I hear commotion at the front desk of our department. “Flower delivery. Oooh, I wonder who these are for,” the office assistant said. “Rasheda! Uh oh, girl. Someone really likes you.” I guess so because I received a ginormous bouquet of delectable roses and carnations. My coworkers and I read the note and yup, it was from Brandon. I was kind of freaked out because I never gave him my work address – but I work at a public university so I wasn’t hard to track down. I was blushing and trying not to smile too much. But I was really impressed.
That wasn’t the last time I was impressed with this guy. But I was still going out with J. Evan. I loved J. and I was starting to really like Brandon G. I was falling for two guys. But Brandon G. stood out. I forgot to mention that while I was dating these guys, I was taking a four-week online seminar called “Magnetizing Love” with Julie Anne Shapiro (https://magnetizinglove.com/). I had been subscribed to her free teleseminars and they helped me tremendously. But it wasn’t until I paid the $97 for the month-long program, which included two 30-minute coaching sessions, that I was able to heal some past hurts by truly becoming complete with my relationships with men that I really loved. I had a hard time getting into relationships for fear that the person I love would leave – in particular die or get hurt. After all, most of the men who truly loved me unconditionally had died or been killed. Seriously. My uncle, who raised me from age 12 to an adult, in 2000 shot himself while I was at home (he died of complications 8 months later). In 2007, my father died of a drug overdose and two days later my ex-boyfriend and love of my life was murdered. A year after that, my guy BFF (who I’ve been friends with since 7th grade) was killed in a motorcycle accident. My heart had been crushed numerous times. I realized that I couldn’t live in fear anymore. I had to let go and let love. Taking that teleseminar helped – along with prayer and a super dope vision board.
Brandon G. stepped it up and told me he loved me and saw a future for us. I accepted his commitment and decided to be exclusive with him. He continues to impress me day after day. He cooks breakfast and dinner and makes the most awe-inspiring desserts. He sends me e-cards and love notes and is truly a great guy.
I met his children for the first time January 5, 2013. We went to some local museums and headed downtown for pizza. The kids were well mannered and sweet. His boys – ages 4, 8, and 11 – are handsome and friendly. His 16-year-old stepdaughter was a little distant and removed but still polite and respectful. I connected most with the middle boy. He reminds me a lot of my nephew.
I look forward to our times together. Things are moving along in our relationship. I now have a key to his place and we’re planning our first vacation together. We’re going to the Bahamas this spring. I’m excited about the possibilities.