I’ve watched with delight over the passed week since covering the Oscars and relishing in Lupita’s victory and observed all the speculation about what the actress’ next move will be. Not to go on a tangent, but what’s up with all this faux concern from black folks wringing their hands that Lupita is being fetishized? Don’t you just love it when folks show up “concerned” about the treatment of dark-skinned black women only when it’s white folks giving the attention to them? It’s like a selfish child who doesn’t want a toy and leave it up on a shelf to collect dust but becomes enraged if another child wants to play with it.

Can you believe they actually called her a fetish? Like…really a FETISH? Why is that always the fall back? I have to say I’m increasingly frustrated by “Black Woman Fetish Hysteria.” BWFH is often used as a tool by people who can’t wrap their heads around the idea of someone picking up the dusty toy they ignored and now cherishes it. Because that’s about what it boils down to. In a community plagued by colorism and good-hair-ism, Lupita Nyong’o continues to be a mystery to many, who looked at her or women like her as throw-aways…at the bottom…ugly…mannish. It’s sad when white folks have to teach black beauty to black folks, but they kinda are, and many of the same folks who wouldn’t have given Lupita a second look are embarrassed because white folks are celebrating someone who represents the very essence of black womanhood. They are expressing that embarrassment and shame by attacking the white people who are celebrating her, and dismissing their enthusiasm as a mere fetish. Because those folks can’t possibly be serious about Lupita. Come on! We all know everyone wants women that look like this…

And even this…woman had something negative to say about Lupita, because she herself can not believe how much she has been embraced…who could forget that hateful Twitter rant?

All because she felt salty because she lost a Whitenicious sale when a little girl saw Lupita and realized that dark skin was beautiful. I don’t know who this is, but she’s increasingly becoming the world’s most hated gray chick.

Where was I? Oh yes. Black Woman Fetish Hysteria is a pervasive and often effective way to scare black women away from white men. The fear of being exploited and used is often crippling, and any overture a suitor makes is analyzed and over-analyzed and analyzed again. Harmless compliments like, “You have beautiful skin,” is reinterpreted as “Can I call you darkie while we’re having sex?” Then the benign, “I love your hair,” is interpreted by the BWFH afflicted as “Can I call you a nappy headed ho when we have sex?” Every comment, every complement is filtered through BWFH, and thus poisoning any hope of a meaningful relationship, which meets the objective of the spoiled child, who just doesn’t want anyone else to play with their toys.