“Ricochet Rebound”

By

Carrie Thompson

YouTube lurkers (who don’t know me from a can of paint) are commenting on how ugly, sad and lonely I am over a guy who called me for two weeks? Seriously. Albeit I did not expect a blingy diamond ring, I am disappointed that I enabled myself to be disappointed.

When it comes to the internet, I expect to be pelted with stones from black women, but with every venomous comment I felt compelled to slide on a tight article of clothing and zip up my thigh high suede boots. Time to find a little friendly affection tonight.

While I may not be the media’s spitting image of awe inspiring grandeur, the men in Los Angeles don’t seem to know it, and this city is the entertainment capital of the world. Men who have never considered brown skin remotely attractive question their own hubris when eyeing me, and I specialize in turning such men out. Like my latest specimen:

*Seamus is a 39-year-old entertainment liaison for The Bel Air hotel, in town from Edinburgh, Scotland. We met on the elevator ride up to Planet Daily’s in Hollywood. His sandalwood Marc Jacobs scent lingered as we sashayed into the rooftop atrium overlooking the tourist hub ‘The Grove.’ My girls and I parked it at a wrap-around booth with a majestic view and ordered a round of stiff spirits. We scanned the backdrop then made a plan to work the room. Coincidentally, we didn’t realize the Scotts had been checking us out.

Jacqueline, a great friend of mine and a television finance specialist, is a little shy when it comes to the boys but had no idea my pimp hand is a smooth and stiff closed fist. I prance the floor and beeline right up to Seamus’ friend *Kendrix and proceed to give him the go-ahead to hit on my friend, omitting my interest completely.

By doing this, which Jacki and I discussed prior, showed I’m one of the guys while being a beautiful and confident woman unafraid of rejection. Kendrix and Jacki veer off to their corner of the dimly lit skybar while Seamus and I intertwined fingers and legs at the bar.

We discuss America’s declining dollar and how it’s bound to be removed from the covetous world reserve currency as the prominence of the Chinese economy soars with an insurmountable GDP. This brown fox can spin a confab any direction, regardless of demographic or locale. The art of conversation, I have mastered, and he kept up.

Charmed of my worldly knowledge, he continues feeding my lush, which had to come to a stop since the bar closes at 2:00 a.m., but I didn’t want our moment to escape us. I pushed him into a photo booth, which he inserted $5 and our mouths did gymnastics as a pulsating light yanked our dilated eyes back to sobriety. The Scots follow us to Jacki’s car, our designated driver awaited, rather irritated that we made a few new friends, and she had not.

We were politely kissed goodnight and sped off into the crowded streets of Hollywood. Seamus has called me everyday since and has been persistently trying further wine and dine me. Jacki says to not be so available, and show him you make the rules, but European men are not like Americans, he knows what he wants and he’s going for it full force.

Our next date is a movie premiere at the Grumman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. This little lass has her head on straight and is not making any fast moves with Seamus. He’s handsome, super kind, and his accent?! Don’t get me revved up…

Rebounding not from heartbreak but a bullet which pierced my ego, that I allowed to ricochet from chest into the world wide web. Bearing all vulnerability to the masses. I am not with Seamus to throw it in my former interest’s face or my online opposition.

To be craved is a priceless sentiment, J’adore the craving of a first time swirler who likes to laugh with and kiss me. Taking it slow and vetting my prey will certainly aid my future but I can never rely on much more than facts, prior experience, and intuition.

There are little to no black women where Seamus lived in Scotland, but I do not consider myself the dreaded ‘exotic vacation vagina,’ but do see him more as an educational apparatus: allow things unfurl without expectation.

I do have one reservation about him: every time we go out he spends SO much money on me. He even asks how much he should tip? Even three of my girlfriend’s appetizers, antipasto, entrées and drinks, parking validations. Maybe he’s just a good guy who doesn’t put money on a pedestal like I do. Or maybe I’m slightly intimidated that I couldn’t do the same if the tables were reversed and don’t want to want him to think I’m interested in what he has. Maybe I should shut up and enjoy his attention. Can I stop being cerebral for ten seconds!

I would love to hear the community’s thoughts on my newest serial dating escapade.

*names were changed to protect the innocent.