Ashley Love, daughter of CeCe Winans is getting married! Obviously finding love outside of blackness isn’t a problem for her family! It’s refreshing, because the church has historically been instrumental in keeping white men and black women apart–on BOTH sides. In an article she wrote about her experience finding her husband, she said a lot of spiritual stuff like what you would expect, but there was a nugget in there that I definitely agree with: She urges men to have persistence. “You are the initiator and the one that must follow through. Don’t let intimidation or fear of rejection stop you from going after what you want. Many times, ladies are won over by a man’s persistence, confidence and decisiveness.”

When I think of all the missed opportunities non-black men have because they weren’t persistent, it makes me sad for them. Of course there’s a balance, and if a woman becomes hostile or unfriendly in her rebuffs, back off. But if she’s smiling, giggling, and dropping breadcrumbs, maybe you shouldn’t give up so easily.