Recently, some of our readers shared some very juicy gems about their interactions and dating experiences while traveling abroad. Most important to note was how these experiences transformed them, from feeling invisible, ignored and constrained here in America by various groups of men, into the powerful realization that there ARE men out there who value, adore and pursue black women. They smile. They approach and compliment. They flirt. Those behaviors are just what they do when they find a woman attractive.

Here at BB&W, we strongly encourage black women to experience study, work or vacation abroad (you can check out our travel section here). The realization that non black men ARE attracted to black women is a necessary component of broadening your dating pool – it brings confidence, which many studies show is one of the best ways to attract people to you.  And broadening your dating pool – to choose character over color – really helps find the BEST person for you. As Sheryl Sandberg wrote, “the most important career choice a woman will make is her choice of spouse.” Limiting the pool of potential spouses does not serve your interests.

BB&W recently received an on-the-ground report about how black women are received in Australia:

Hi Miss Swirl,

Re: OKCupid Australia … more messages than a ‘black’ girl could ever reply to from all types of men!!!

I just wanted to let you know that I don’t agree with your article that white men In Canada are more open to dating black women than those in the states. Although one of my siblings is married to a ‘Caucasian man’; I have NEVER been asked out by one in my 20+ years. I am objectively not as beautiful, cute or well shaped as her. She is stunning.  When I have OKCupid and Christian Mingle in Canada and I got more responses from men in the USA on these websites, who lived near the border so I was in their area. (I did have a relationship with one of those men, but that is another story).

 Anyways, I just moved to Australia, created a profile with just two of my pictures – because I am learning that men mostly care about looks. Wow…tons of replies messages 20 in 24 hours…more coming in as we speak! Girl I can’t keep up! I’ve actually been deleting a ton of replies…I can’t talk to everybody.

Please tell the ladies that Australia is RIPE for the pickings.

One amazing thing is that many Australians are actually born abroad – particularly from the UK, US, New Zealand and more and more from Asia. So although Australians are known for their racism –particularly against the Sudanese and the Aboriginal populations – there is a good cohort who is adventure seekers and love traveling and thus the type of person that is very open to new experiences. An additional bonus to the men in this group is that they often come/came to Australia for work – yess booo they have a J-O-B (Snap in a z formation). On a final note, this is where American/Canadian identity carries even more weight – you are automatically thought of as kool, and with, get this, an EXOTIC accent. Hahaha.

On that note: I have very dark skin, am short and round but not overweight but -5’2 133lbs – I am working on…but I do have a pretty awesome curly weave and a great smile thanks to 2 years of adult braces :S…almost worth it. All those Sudanese women look like models…in fact many of them work as models here hahaha, not to mention the gorgeous Zimbabwean and South African women…I have nooo idea what one would see in me?!? And if one does have a panache for very dark women, there are many East Indian, Bangladesh and various Asian women around.

There are pro’s and con’s to living in Australia. Racism is real, but in a very different way than I presume in America. No place is perfect, unfortunately, but if there is one thing that I have taken to heart and put into practice is to NEVER let racism, racists, or  the fear of thereof rob me from experiencing other cultures…the score should always be me-1:racism-0…why not let that philosophy carry over to finding the one?

Much love,

Lost in Australia/Anonymous  ;P

So let’s sound off in the comments! What have your experiences been while mingling abroad?