Maxi’s graduation weekend was wonderful, but there was some senseless family drama on Friday that left me mentally and emotionally exhausted. I needed some good red wine and some chocolate. But instead of reaching for a candy bar or ice cream, I opted of a beauty regimen just as decadent without adding a single fat cell to my waistline. May Lindstrom Skin – The Honey Mud has been all the rage with the green beauty bloggers on Instagram. They talk about how rich and decadent it is, containing cocoa, honey, and a variety of clays. It can be used both as a cleanser and a moisturizing mask–thanks to the honey.

Here’s the details:

– Raw Honey: draws moisture into the skin, naturally antibacterial.
– Witch Hazel Extract: balances the skin
– Colloidal Silver: repairs the skin + naturally antibacterial. Used in burn units for its reparitive effects on the skin.
– White Halloysite Clay: draws out dirt and toxins. When massaged into the skin the clays become activated.
– Essential Oils of Frankinscence + Myrrh: have regenerating and healing effects on the skin

Wait…what? Frankincense and Myrrh? Sweet Baby Jesus! I thought it was time to see what all the fuss was about so I bought the admittedly expensive product from an online store that specializes in green, toxic free, and healthy cosmetics call Beau|Tea|Bar.

The smell of chocolate and honey is intoxicating, and feels like a luxurious spa treatment you’d pay $*&(&%@ for. The first day I tried it, I used it as a wash, in which the company advises you apply to damp skin, rub with fingertips and rinse with warm water. Later I’d realize I much better prefer it as a moisturizing mask, especially with how dry the weather it’s been here in Southern California.

After I rinsed, my face felt moist and dewy, but still, after the day I had, I wasn’t ready to complete my chocolate gorge. I also purchased May Lindstrom The Problem Solver, because it’s a pretty serious treatment that comes in powder form and activates when water is added. I like this, because the product doesn’t degrade and will last quite a long time. It’s a deep cleansing powder mask made with antioxidant-rich raw cacao, healing bamboo charcoal, soil nutrients, salts, and exotic warming spices. Oh yes; about that “warm” thing. Your skin will literally tingle as the mask dries, thanks in part to the cinnamon, clove and cayenne pepper! It also gives you a boost with Vitamin C, which facilitates collagen production. I applied it with my foundation brush in layers to really get a nice crush going!

This mask is for what it is named–to solve problems. It’s a great treatment for acne flareups, as it both disinfects the pores and reduces inflammation. It also shrinks the pores and smoothes the skin tone.

Once the mask hardened, I rinsed with a towel and warm water. I loved how smooth my skin was, but it was a bit higher and dryer than I would like, so I thought I’d try this ahhhh-mazing moisturizing mask that looks and smells like Jello Chocolate Pudding. Using it reminded me of summers at my best friends house, stuffing our faces with delicious pudding between dips in the swimming pool. Back then, we never worried about calories. We were young and swimming kept us thin, and the sun (san sunscreen; don’t judge it was a different time!) left us darker than the pudding we delighted in eating.

Sundae Best Chocolate Softening Mask with CoQ10 is so freaking good you’ll want to eat it. It left my skin so soft and supple, and the lingering scent of chocolate was an added bonus. When I cross-checked prices for this mask, I was surprised to note that with Amazon Prime, you get free shipping, and the item is actually about four dollars cheaper than when you purchase through the web site.

Finally, I was feeling better. But I still wasn’t satiated from my chocolate jones. Then I remembered I’d bought some pure, organic cocoa butter recently and decided to skip my usual finishing moisturizers and opt for plain, old cocoa butter. And I’m so glad I did! The healthy fat of cocoa moisturizes with a low sheen, which means it won’t leave my face looking shiny and feeling like an oil slick. I was left with soft, smooth skin primed and ready to take on my crazy life.

After all that, I looked like this…

And then this…

All that chocolate, and not a calorie consumed.