Question of the Week

Digital Daters, Keep Away from “I’m A God-Fearing Woman” Taglines!!

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Got this letter from a young lady…

First off, let me start by saying I love all your videos. It is lovely to just take some time out of my spare time to watch them and am learning as well from them. Now let me get to the real issues. Just the other day, I have decided to sign onto some dating websites. I was looking around and decided to check out Okcupid. I must say am very skeptical about online dating , who you are meeting there then I realized I also met some weirdos offline. I filled out a nice profile stating am a God-fearing woman and of course I believe that friendship is a strong foundation for any long-lasting relationship. Few moments later, I’d received messages from men. There was one in particular, I started chatting with. The conversation was good enough for me to keep it going.The next day, He asked me if I’d love to meet up for lunch. I clearly told him that we should try to find out more about each other before meeting up. He is actually 35 years old going on 36. He told me he has never been married and has no kids claiming he never found a woman worthy of him putting a ring on it. I must also add he is Jewish and am Christian. He is flirting openly with me to the extent that he said who knows you might be the one I was waiting for. I might become his “Mrs”. He I looking for his partner in crime. When will I be? He even let me know he is very open-minded when it comes to religion. Birthday is coming up, he even told me if there’s a place in mind I’d love to go , just let him know.He assured me that he dated outside of his race when I asked me and this is exactly what he said:” I’m very attracted to black women always has been. He asked for my number, I declined saying it is a bit too soon. Now how long do you think should be the right moment to meet up with someone met online or to even exchange numbers? Could he be trying to see if he can mess around with me? Am 25 and he even asked me if I have dated older men before. I told him yes since age was never much of an issue to me as long as the man was way younger than my father. Why Isn’t he married yet if he is telling the truth? Although he said he met a few online but that was not it yet. Now am not one to rush ,I even let him know I believe in patience. Thank you for reading this long message. Any advice, please do share.

Signed,

“Z”

Actually “Z”, it’s a good sign that he wants to connect with you soon. Many guys who want to play around online will hem and haw but never want to meet. I say have a conversation with him first, and see how it goes. If you like him, meet him for a coffee or lunch in case you need to make a quick getaway. I do have some pause that he’s coming on strong though…might just be his personality, and you’ll have to feel that out. If he starts talking sex, cease the convo…he’s just fishing for easy prey. Lastly, while I see your spirituality is important to you, I don’t think you should open first with “I’m a God-fearing woman.” It makes you sound like a bible-thumping church lady, and most guys aren’t into that no matter what his religion is. Hope that helps!

SIDEBAR: It’s not that I’m against women expressing their religious beliefs, but you giving off the “nun vibe” will in most cases, do NOTHING to activate your feminine allure. It’s not even that the guy is a heathen–of course he could be, but the truth of the matter is that most single guys aren’t going around saying, “They God-fearing men.” Some do–I’ve met them, but most don’t. The phrase is often misinterpreted as communicating, “I’M A RABID JESUS FREAK SO DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HOLDING MY HAND YOU LUSTFUL SON OF SATAN!!!” I think sometimes women do this to act as a deterrent to men just trolling for sex, but you’ll even turn off the nice guys who maybe only go to church on Easter and Christmas.

And just for laughs…

What say you, BB&W Crew?

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