I can’t say I’m at all broken up about the company that’s responsible for “The Twinkie Defense” and millions of lard asses all over the United States shuttering it’s doors. Blame the bakers if you wish, but I’d like to believe, in pure Santa Clause fashion, that Hostess going out of business is perhaps due in part to people becoming less interested in filling their bloodstream with pastries created in a lab. Don’t even TRY to blame this on Grandma. Grandma at least uses real sugar and butter, not high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated lard.

I have a very close relative, morbidly obese, who may hold a funeral service for hostess–she’ll be crushed. She eats Twinkies with the gusto of a $20 whore giving fellatio.

From the presses:

Hostess Brands, the bankrupt maker of Twinkies and Wonder Bread, said it has sought court permission to go out of business after failing to get wage and benefit cuts from thousands of its striking bakery workers.

Hostess said a national strike by members of the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers International Union that began last week had crippled its ability to produce and deliver products at several facilities.

The liquidation of the company will mean that most of its 18,500 employees will lose their jobs, Hostess said on Friday.

The 82-year-old company said it took the decision to shut down after determining that not enough employees had returned to work by a deadline on Thursday.

I guess it might be too much to ask that when they sell their poisonous recipes for profit to other companies that the buyers would at least use real ingredients not grown in a lab, but in Grandma’s kitchen?