I took this picture while I was at the NABJ conference because I thought it could encapsulate my point.

A while ago one of my posts went off on a tangent, which is often the case, and by the way, I don’t mind that at all. It had to do with the idea that black people–women in particular–have to be twice and good to be just as good as someone of another race, particularly white people.

So pass that same template to dating and I wonder out loud: do we black ladies have to “bring it?” I’m not talking about having the ability to speak Latin, cook a kick-ass bouillabaisse all while pole dancing in a thong and those swirly things strippers stick on their nipples. I’m also not necessarily talking about looks–although I TRULY believe that overweight is a major barrier for some in widening their dating prospects.

What I think I’m saying is, do we have to “bring it” intellectually, more so than a Becky-Sue? Must we bedazzle, awe, amaze and astonish rainbow men, thus making us “superior” to B.S. and “worthy” to date? Does a rainbow man say to his parents “Yes Ma, she’s black. BUT! She went to Harvard, speaks Chinese, Japanese and Indian Chief!”

In my case, the answer is a bit ambiguous. I asked my husband if he would have married me had I not gone to college. He said, “No.” But to his credit, he would not have married anyone who hadn’t been college educated. I guess I had to be ON PAR with all the other girls he considered as potential mates.

I realize this is a touchy subject but I have never been one to shy away from controversy. Okay girls, spill it. What say you?