Thanks Carolyn Edgar, you’ve done it so well that I’m biting you. But…I always bite in love.

Over the months–can you believe it’s only been since June that I opened shop in the WWW?–I’ve been asking, listening, provoking and researching what black women need to fulfill their needs romantically and emotionally.

I’ve always said, date a rainbow. And most of you are >< with me, having found and loved your rainbow paramours from all around the world.

Others are just curious, just dipping their toes in. But…there’s a few e-stalkers up in here I’m sure, just waiting to pounce, because HOW DARE WE THINK OF DATING INTERRACIALLY? 2MILLION BW SINGLE? PFFFT! YOU’RE JUST NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH! YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH! WHY DOES HE NEED TO HAVE ALL OF HIS TEETH, YOU PICKY BITCH?!

These peeps kind of, in my mind, remind me of this:

Martin Lawrence's alter ego, Shanaynay.

And sadly, Shanaynay is loud and obnoxious, so OF COURSE she gets all the attention. Classy is just boring.

You know me. I’m all about honest introspection. So over the course of the next few weeks, and at the suggestion of BWE sis, Lorraine Nowlin, I really want to explore the specifics regarding the perpetuity of the negative stereotypes associated with black women, and what we–yes, I said, “we” because, didn’t you know we’re all alike?–do contribute to it.

Let me just sidebar for a sec. Truth: I know that every time I make a call, pick up my mail, go to the store, do an interview, make a blog, take a picture, pick my nose, I represent THE ENTIRE BLACK RACE to someone who does not, nor will not, use the good brain matter God gave them to distinguish the difference between me and Shanaynay.

So guess what? My shite better be tight.

This sucks, but from a neurological and survival perspective, that’s just how the human brain works, thus, that how the world works. It’s easier to say, “all [insert adjective] people are this.” MLK was asking a tough thing from us when he dreamed that we would one day judge on character rather than color.

And when you’re fighting a media juggernaut that makes you and your crew seem like this, (unless of course, you look like Beyonce, Alicia or Halle):

Oh gawd, I can hardly stand to look!

We have a definite PR problem that will take a 50 billion-dollar retainer in the first month alone. (“Donate” button to the right —>)

But seriously, there’s not much we can do on a collective that doesn’t first start on an individual level. So before we begin, I need you guys to swallow some HARD pills.

• Yes; when you step out of the house in a raggedy head scarf, you just knocked us down a half-point.
• If you EVER ROLL YOUR NECK for any other reason than for a yoga pose, you knock us down two points.
• If you cackle so loud people on the next continent can hear you, you knock us down 10 points.
• If you have more than three baby-daddy’s just take 100 off the top.
• If you are 50-100 pounds overweight, well… you GAIN points when you lose pounds.
• If you hide your boyfriend’s crack rocks up any bodily orifice, go STRAIGHT to zero, then proceed to the jailhouse.
• If ebonics is your native language, then you need to enroll in an ESL class yesterday.
• If your idea of good wine is Night Train, then you are beyond any help that can be provided here. Take off 1,000 points for having absolutely no concept of culture and refinement and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, go to an AA meeting tout de suite.

The floor is now open for discussion. Please note that this is only my opinion and observation, and therefore subject to, well… subjectivity, and my own personal biases. But gosh-golly, I’ve only been practicing PR for a decade, so what the heck do I know?