Everything your mother didn't have time to tell you because she was too busy struggling!
Written by Nicole J.
Another viral video is making its rounds this week, featuring a black male beating his reportedly 12-year-old daughter for having sex. Trigger warning.
He caught her daughter having sex. She's just 12.
What will you do if she's your daughter? pic.twitter.com/NROMkGFuRm
— The Amazons Talk Show (@theamazonstalk1) July 17, 2019
It’s sad that I have grown accustomed to seeing the abuse of black girls and women on social media that it doesn’t even faze me anymore. But as always, there are many lessons to be learned here.
The male in the video, assumed to be her father, asks her repeatedly “you want to be a ho?” as he wails on her with a belt. All we have to go by is 37 seconds of abuse, and based on his reaction, I would say it’s a safe bet he didn’t actually talk to her first. Given the high molestation rates present in the black community (not including the cases that go unreported), I would not be at all surprised if the perpetrator was an adult, possibly a friend of the family, taking advantage of a naïve girl just coming into her womanhood. Child grooming is a thing, and given her home life (because I’d bet this isn’t her first beating), she would be a prime target.
Why don’t more people take the side of girls in this scenario? It’s just like the whole R. Kelly situation where grown ass men and women were saying his victims should have known better when they were young teenagers. Either way I side with the girl on this, because few others do. Nobody loves black girls in the black community and it is a tragedy of utmost proportions.
He beat her like a man. There was no love here, only anger and hate, or maybe even regret he didn’t get her first, or that someone else was horning in on his territory, who knows. There is a difference between spanking, which I disagree with too, and what he did. This is child abuse. The only lesson she will learn here is not to tell her dad anything, ever again. There are more effective ways of disciplining a 12 year old, like changing the Wi-Fi password, taking away the chargers for electronics, house arrest, something other than this.
What purpose does such torment serve? Will it restore her virginity? Will it make her never have sex again? No and no, if anything, she will fear and hate her father and never go to him for ANYTHING, and she will be even sneakier with everything she does in the future. The comment section was very telling (they always are), with people cosigning the male’s actions, with gems like “I’d do the same thing, just double my energy”, unsarcastic nominations for “Father of the year”, and “This guy loves his child, I would do the same if I was the dad”.
As always, there were comparisons to how white kids are punished (because white people are the standard, you see), saying that white kids aren’t beat enough and that’s why they are out here talking back and taking drugs. If such levels of beatings were so effective, why is the black community at the bottom in every metric that matters? The chronic underachievement, poverty, and prison population in our community suggests that maybe whoopings aren’t the way to go, and a different tack would be worth trying. Maybe one day black people will stop comparing the worst of themselves to the worst of other races. Today is not that day it seems.
Why was this uploaded? For what audience? For what purpose? The world has a front row seat to the rampant dysfunction in our community. Yet we turn around and complain that we are being mistreated by the dominant society, when we mistreat each other first. Hopefully if any good comes of this, it’s that Daddy Dearest goes to jail, which brings me to my next point…
Want to bet it was her dusty, crusty, busted mother that was recording this abuse? Kendall St. Charles frequently states that black men are at the gate, but black women are at the door. The recorder likely uploaded this to get praise for the wonderful job they are doing disciplining their errant daughter, because the best indicator of how good a job you’re doing as a parent is likes on social media. Duh.
By no means am I saying she should have been having sex at her age. But it’s done now and it is a teaching moment. After finding out who the other party was to eliminate contact (and press charges if able) she needs to be taken to her doctor for STD checks and a pregnancy test, and a therapist shortly thereafter. Black girls, especially dark skinned ones, have so much hate to deal with from the outside world. I have no doubt in my mind that this act will have long lasting psychological damage surrounding her body, sex, and attitudes towards future male suitors.
How is heaping physical abuse on a child who more than likely suffered sexual abuse going to help? If a 12 year old is out in the world having sex, it shows her parents failed to protect her. This man hates his daughter. He gets to be big man beating on his daughter and calling it discipline, while calling her a ho and a bitch and asking if she wants more dick. Maybe if he did his job as a father, his daughter wouldn’t have sought validation and acceptance from other males in the community.
You know who is really cruel for the sake of being cruel? Other children. Given that this video has gone viral I wouldn’t be surprised if her classmates caught wind of it will bully her at school before she goes home to get bullied some more.
There were many black men and women all through social media praising this display of “parenting”. The rationalization for this was in every comment section I’ve seen. So you know what? We deserve our place firmly at the bottom of society, because if this is the kind of treatment the collective doles out to the children, the future, then is it any surprise that they grow up to be emotionally unintelligent, abusive, and unproductive?
“Author of Swirling. Advocate for black women finding love across color lines. Creator of The Pink Pill.”
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