I recently got a note from a black woman married interracially, and it got me to thinking about how sometimes, interracial relationships can cause challenges in forming friendships.

I have a question. My husband and I have no friends. Some black women won’t talk to me, they call me a sell out. Some white women won’t talk to me. They ask me how did I get my husband, did I marry him for his money (we both didn’t have money when we met). So my question is, Do other black women that are married or dating outside there race have the same problem, or is it just me. Thank you for your tim,e and for having a wonderful facebook page and website.

I’ll get back to this is a second. Today I entertained about 15 people I had never met before today, but developed a friendship on Facebook based on a common interest–gardening. If you’ve been around for any amount of time, you know that I’m a complete garden nerd, and could talk about seeds, fertilizer and micro climates all dang day. Problem is, most people in my immediate vicinity are sort of “meh” about it. So guess what I did? I suggested a get together at my house for a Sunday brunch to tour my garden, discuss what’s growing well and what’s not for my region, swap seeds, recipes, and gardening techniques over sangria, quiche, fresh Caprese salad, and cucumber sandwiches, all made from ingredients in my garden. The groups also brought goodies. My buddy, Catrina, owner of Temecula based, Patio2Plate, brought over planting starts, seeds and vegetables.

We got a chance to bond over…dirt, and I just made about a dozen new friends who like the same things I do.

Okay, okay, the photo’s blurry. Got to blame The Hubster for that one. I think he had one too many sangrias. But one good look and you’ll notice something. I’m the only black person in the group, and I didn’t feel one bit out of place. We communed over a common interest. Now back to the interracial couple struggling for friends. The same principle applies. Use the bonds you form online to create communities offline, BASED ON COMMON INTERESTS.