You had the dark meat. Two servings of dressing with gravey full of turkey grease, then sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, AND scalloped pototoes, and LET’S NOT EVEN TALK about how many slices of sweet potato pie you had WITH whipped cream AND whole milk.

I COULD give you some pointers on how I manage to keep from compulsively eating a sweet potato pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but then I saw no need, since if you follow the moves on this guy, you MIGHT have a few more weeks before your zen-detox-lemon/lime-protein diet becomes less and less appealing as butter by the gallon again makes a comeback.