I know some of the ladies will bristle when they read this title, but hear me out before you go ballistic. There’s some very real (and uncomfortable) truths that we see being played out in this David Patraeus sex scandal. Take a look at the woman who allegedly engaged in the affair.

Paula Broadwell. I bet I know what this broad does well. 😉

Now, look at Holly Petraeus.

Sorry Holly, you look like you could be Paula Broadwell’s grandma.

And then let’s look at the alleged other, OTHER woman.

Jill Kelley

What can we glean from the pictures of the two alleged mistresses?

David Petraeus likes his ladies to have toned arms.
David Petraeus is not a fan of women with gray hair.
David Petraeus likes his women to wear make-up.
David Petraeus likes his women to have a waistline.

Do these apparent truths absolve General Petraeus of being a Class A douche bag? No. But this is a prime example of the obvious differences of the female and the male mind. I’m sure Holly Petraeus thought it enough that she remained a faithful and dutiful wife, bearing David’s children and being a steadfast supporter of his work. Not to mention that Mrs. Petraeus has her own set of credentials, I’m sure. But the hard truth of it is, Holly Petraeus looks like a 50-something Peppermint Patty.

I wonder if David calls her, “Sir.” Just a question.

I know I sound cruel, and the feminist side of me is punching me dead in the nose for daring to state the obvious. But the practical side of me says, “Hey, it ain’t fair, but men are visual creatures and they like their women to LOOK like women!!” Truth: Holly, if she so chose, could easily improve herself in the looks department.  A little hair dye, a date with a gal at the MAC makeup counter, a gym membership and a girdle can do wonders. But would that have stopped General Petreaus from cheating and being a total a-hole? Probably not. But I guarantee there would be a lot more outrage from the public, wondering why he would stray when he had such a hot wife in his bed every night. Just saying.

Here’s a picture of a young Holly and David. David still looks like the the same dork he is. Holly is pretty as a daisy.

Someone PLEASE tell me I’m wrong. I WANT to be wrong. I really, really do.