A recent discussion on the effectiveness of white women’s tears reactivated the conversation of how black women and white women deal with conflict, and which approach is more effective.

In general, non-black women take an indirect approach to dealing with conflict. Whether or not she may be in the wrong, the activation of tears changes the dynamic of the conflict.

Black women are enculturated for a more direct approach to conflict resolution. While it is effective within the community, it does not lean towards our favor outside of it. The brash, in your face, take no mess confrontation often gives you the exact opposite effect. You might get some short-term relief by blowing off some steam, the long-term effects will hurt you through exclusion, shunning, and minimized opportunities.

Here is a recent example I’d like to highlight. This YouTuber is having a very public argument with another content creator about alleged idea poaching. Look at the distinctions between both the women.

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