I want to talk more about this new mindset of black women being “unbothered.” It sounds like a productive tact in the right direction at first…right? It implies that instead of being so BOTHERED by anything, we become UN-BOTHERED about everything.

The problem with BOTH mindsets is that we are STILL depriving ourselves of the full range of emotions that we as WOMEN are entitled to. If you are “strong” then you can show weakness by displaying any feelings that might upset that label. If you are “unbothered,” are also are RESTRAINED from showing any FEELING, even when you have them. You have to PRETEND to be “unbothered” in the SAME WAY your mother and grandmother had to PRETEND to be so strong. Ladies, this ain’t a come up.

We just switched one straight jacket for another one; just in a different size and color. But no matter how many bows and flowers you put on it, a straight jacket will ALWAYS be a straight jacket. Until we as black women allow some kindness and compassion for one another when we display feminine feelings, we will keep forcing each other to push down emotions so we can look the part, all the while we are crying inside and eating our feelings. Let’s talk.