Written by Penelope Farthing
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex has been in headlines more this week, following a documentary airing her struggles with adjusting to royal life. Following that, two rather polarizing black women, talk show host Wendy Williams and the darling of the moment for the Republicans, Candace Owens, weighed in. Wendy said no one feels sorry for you and Candace called her a witch.
Using African children as a backdrop to complain about your over-privileged life is offensive.
Invoking your own mother’s tragic death to demand the press stop calling out your hypocritical wife is downright disgusting.
Meghan Markle is a witch.
Harry is under her spell.
— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) October 21, 2019
Now, Wendy’s criticism I understand. She makes a living off peddling nastiness disguised as gossip. All that time delighting in other people’s suffering has got to take a toll after a while. And it must burn her so for a relatively unknown actress from a cable show to marry into one of the most known families in the world. Not to mention, have a husband who has publicly defended her on more than one occasion. Meanwhile, her own husband, Kevin, allegedly cheated on her, sired a bastard child with the side chick, used her money to lavish the baby mama, and watched with the rest of the world as the stress of it all pushed Wendy to a sober house. Did Wendy not want sympathy in that period of her life? Or has she forgotten how this all went down, in public forum, just a few months ago?
Additionally, I don’t think Wendy cares for black women all that much, even if they are only partially black. So, I get it. Wendy’s gotta eat.
I also get why Candace would go after Meghan as well, though that makes a lot less sense in the grand scheme, on several levels. What Wendy sells is gossip, and what Candace sells is shock.
Sure, Candace stands to maintain her popularity while Trump is in office, especially if he wins another term, but what about after? She can still be the black woman Republican with features on Fox News but I imagine there would be a drop in her popularity if the Democrats won. Maybe Candace is weighing in on topics that will gain her notoriety so she can transition from conservative commentator to something else down the line. Maybe she’s jealous that she was not catapulted into the hearts of her conservative fanbase as easily as Meghan did.
However, why this doesn’t make sense to me is that Candace herself married into British aristocracy, albeit further down the ranks than the Sussexes, and could very well find herself in the circles Meghan now frequents. But now she’s on record disparaging her. That seems like an act of self-sabotage just to get folks on Twitter riled up for a few minutes.
With all that said, I’d like to talk about two very strong emotions that black women deal with- jealousy and sympathy.
Even amidst her struggles with constant criticism as a tabloid target, I still think many women from all races would trade places with Meghan. A doting husband, the power that comes from being a short distance from the crown, and a lavish life, albeit in a gilded cage, for all its downfalls, seems like it could be alright after a lengthy adjustment period. As such, I believe that these two are jealous of the duchess, and are using their platforms to profit off Meghan sharing a vulnerable moment.
Kendall St. Charles has said many times that black women are some of the most jealous women around (and has hosted many events to talk about it). You don’t need a bitter talk show host or college dropout turned media mainstay to tell you that.
Within days of each other, Wendy and Candace have perpetuated the trope of being jealous of the biracial or light skinned woman. To use Wendy’s own words, she also knew what she was getting into. By nature of being a wealthy black woman married to a black man who was not only her husband, but business partner, that exposed her to risk of a public divorce rife with drama and foolishness. As someone with her finger on the pulse of celebrity relationships, Wendy should have known what she was getting into as well. As a result, maybe Wendy is jealous that Meghan has support the world round about her personal, difficult situation, whereas she was reviled and mocked for her own issues, which are ‘worse’ in comparison, earlier this year.
Secondly, let’s talk about sympathy. Black women want everyone to feel bad for them, and when it’s their turn to feel sorry for someone else, if the criteria to merit sympathy aren’t exactly “right”, then tough tits for you. Meghan, from an outsider looking in’s standpoint, is living a pretty good life, marred by being the subject of gossip rags week after week. So, by that measure, she’s not “deserving” of sympathy according so some because she has everything else easy.
Somehow black women can muster up so much sympathy for the sons of the community, with common rebuttals like “we all make mistakes” and other excuses, and little to none for the daughters. Why is that?
And another thing…Doesn’t “no one feels sorry for you” sound like a remix of the all-too-common phrase “you should have chose better”? Perhaps if Meghan had gotten with some crumb-bum who publicly embarrassed her for years, rather than a literal prince, then Wendy could drum up a little compassion, and Candace would not think it was witchcraft responsible for Harry and Meghan’s love story. Who knows?
What are your thoughts on this? Share in the comments below.