The cat has gotten out of the bag. Super-secretive-about-her-love-life actress Kerry Washington married football player Nnamdi Asomugha sometime around the end of June and the media is just now getting wind of it. Oh, and Asomugha happens to be black.

Are these two people together??

Apparently Kerry and Nnamdi have been dating quietly for some time; pictures have yet to even surface of the two out on a date or attending a public event together. Nevertheless, a marriage license issued for the two has been revealed–US Weekly, among other sites, has confirmed the existence of the license.

So, first of all lets say a hearty ‘Congrats!’ to Kerry and her new groom!

And then, lets talk about the reasons why BB&W, a site dedicated specifically to the self-improvement of black women and the discussion of issues related to interracial dating, is making a post about Kerry Washington’s marriage to a black man.

Reason #1: We LOVE Kerry and her show Scandal. Yeah, OK, ALL of us might not LOVE the actress and her show, but there are more than enough of us who are Kerry fans for me (Jamila) to feel comfortable saying that we like Kerry Washington. Ms. Washington was even fond enough of the BB&W crew to provide us with an EXCLUSIVE interview on the night of the premier of Scandal. So I think it’s fair to say that at least a little bit of the fondness goes both ways.

In fact, it may be that Kerry consciously chose to keep her relationship private due to all of the hoopla and hype surrounding her on-TV interracial romance on Scandal. Several of Kerry’s previous relationships with non-black men have been well-known (the name David Moscow comes to mind) and some Scandal stans seemed to have believed that the chemistry between Kerry and her co-star Tony Goldwyn (President Fitzgerald Grant) was less-acting-and-more-real. Therefore, Kerry’s real life relationship with an accomplished black man may have burst the bubble of some folks who were overly invested in the idea of Kerry being with a white guy.

It isn’t uncommon for male entertainers to manufacture the illusion that they are single in order to keep single female fans daydreaming about being in a relationship with their idol. Kerry could have been creating this same illusion–or, she could just be the secretive type. We’ll probably never know.

Reason #2: The audience of black women who visit this site can be broken down into 3 groups. Group #1 women are those firmly planted in the “I prefer a specific racial/ethnic category of non-black men.” These are the black women who just knew since they were in 2nd grade and had a crush on the blond-haired-blue-eyed boy who sat next to them in language arts that they were going to marry a white guy. Generally, the women in group one can be categorized by the fact that they have always pretty much preferred non-black men.

Group #2 readers are those who are open to interracial dating, but may not necessarily have an preference for or against black men. These are the women who have dated black guys, non-black Latino’s, a white guy (or two), and had a crush on a Japanese actor. Women in group two are just looking for a good man (however the individual woman in particular may define “good”).

Group #3 are those that may or may not have always dated black men, may or may not have always had a preference for black men, and only now are starting to stick their big toe in the pool of interracial dating because they have had to work on eliminating their racial hang-ups that prevented them from being open to interracial dating in the past. Racial hang-ups such as believing that no man other than a black man could ever genuinely find them attractive, or getting over the knee-jerk reaction that they developed of exclaiming that “the only good-looking men are black men.”

Kerry’s marriage to Nnamdi illustrates an important message for the women of BB&W: Marry whomever you want, whomever makes you happy and gives you the butterflies.

Ms. Washington has dated white men in the past. And she has also dated black men in the past. Kerry dated men who she felt physically attracted to, to men who she felt were on her level. And now, finally, she had married a man who is just as smart, accomplished, and dedicated to philanthropic work as she is. Kerry married a WINNER, and that WINNER just happens to be a black man.

However, Kerry’s marriage to a black man does nothing to negate the facts that there are plenty of non-black men who are also WINNER’s and that there are more ‘marriageable’ (define this term in your own way) black women who are looking for companionship than black men. The out-of-wedlock birth rate among black women in still higher than among any other group of women. Black women are still the least-likely to be coupled group of women in the US. Kerry’s marriage does nothing to change the facts, but her marriage and previous dating life can be an example to other black women to expand their dating options beyond race, color, creed, and ethnicity. Furthermore, if the man who happens to fit all of your requirements happens to be of the same race, feel free to roll with that, too.

As always, the ball is in your court–in all areas of your life–as long as you keep your options open and keep you eyes trained on what matters to you.
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Jamila Akil is a Senior Editor at Beyond Black and White. Follow her on Twitter @jamilaakil.