Here’s something we black women have trouble admitting–rape and molestation aside, we have 100% power on who, when, and how our wombs are entered and when and if we want to carry the products of that union to term.

Now when I say this, understand that I’m not telling you that, when situations come up, it’s 100% your responsibility to carry all the blame if fathers don’t step up to raise and care for their offspring. Let me be clear: any man that leaves his child is a stinking piece of shit. I don’t care how the kid got here.

And it’s because black women are uniquely poised to witness legions of broken homes within our community, you are faced with a choice when you decide to expand your dating options. Behind Door One, you can carry over all the dysfunctional views about our current family culture with you, and hold on to the MYTH that marriage is “just a piece of paper.” Behind Door Two, you can choose men who have been exposed to family culture that you aspire to. In short, you have a higher chance of meeting a man who’s parents were married when he was conceived, and thus, increases the chances that this man holds this as value.

Now, some of you might say, “I’m not ready for marriage! It’s a huge commitment!” Well girl, if you’re not ready for marriage, that baby is an even bigger commitment and just accept that, if you are to raise you child properly, life as you’ve known it is over. So if you’re not ready for marriage, you’re not ready for a baby. And if you’re not ready for a baby, take necessary precautions. You’re not a slut for pursuing the condoms aisle. You’re smart, and showing your capability to being a loving and protective mother be delaying childbirth until the nest is properly fluffed.