Written by Nicole

Historically, black women have heard a lot of the N-word. Everyone spouts the word at the drop of a hat, unconcerned about how it might make us feel. And to top it all off, we don’t say it enough. And if we do say the N-word, we can get branded as mean, spiteful, hateful, and the crowd favorite, anti-black.

Because we are in a new year and the resolution kick is still strong, here is another tip to thrive in 2021.

Start saying more of the N-word yourself.

Say NO.

No, two letters long, is the most powerful word in the English language. And black women’s inability, or extreme hesitation, to say it, leads far too many of us into avoidable difficulties.

This goes beyond saying no to the obvious things, like drugs or crime. If you were on the fence about either of those things, please say no to both drugs and crime.

But some things are a lot less cut and dry.

Your best friend from way back when has transitioned from you being a pinch sitter, to her children being at your house more than theirs? Sure, you may love her kids, but your time is valuable, and a long-running friendship is no excuse to take advantage of your kindness. As the saying goes, never do anything you’re good at for free. So, you might have to say no to her and her kids, even if it’s painful to do.

Being expected to do anything at great cost to you with no return on that investment? Say no.

Settling for any old man, who does not meet the bare minimum, just because you’re bored, lonely, or horny? Say no.

Constantly sacrificing yourself? Say no.

Clinging to broken, tumultuous relationships because “they’re family”? No ma’am.

Living outside your means and racking up debt to keep up with the manicured facades on social media? Nuh-uh.

Calls for advice, when you’ve already given advice that was not heeded, or worse, rebuffed? Nah.

Making the same (poor) choices over and over again, because that is how your mother, auntie, grandma and cousins all did it? None for me, thanks.

Sometimes, the right thing to say, is no. It may be difficult and cause you pain in the moment, but if you don’t choose yourself first, who will?

What are you saying no to this year?

Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.