In order to get on with the second part to this post, I made myself finish watching the rather disturbing video posted in another discussion topic. It wasn’t easy, because I tend to feel nothing is gained from watching hoodrats act like hoodrats. Aside from a “do not act like this” sort of lesson. But then I don’t need to watch people behave like rabid animals to come away with that logic. If one understands how to function in society, it becomes a given.
But not all black women know how to function in society. Especially not in a way that is safe and sensible, let alone not embarrassing. But lets put aside embarrassing and focus on “safe and sensible”.
I’m going to re-introduce the definition of machoism from the previous post. AGAIN, please note the emphasis:
Machoism: Prominently exhibited or displayed masculinity….Characteristics include domineering, fierceness, bravado, and similar behavior patterns displayed showily or histrionically as being tough…The machismo of members of the human species are all exaggerated features that may cause injury to individuals that display them but attract females.
I say again from the above definition, “MAY CAUSE INJURY TO INDIVIDUALS THAT DISPLAY THEM.”
So then, anyone want to look at that video of the woman being tasered or the video of the woman getting her lights knocked out by the bus driver and tell me how what I witnessed did not fall under this category? Machoism, by its very definition is the combination of behaviors that are overly aggressive attempts to show off how “hardcore” you are and being placed in a situation that will very likely lead to harm.
And this is true of men.
I asked before, and I ask again, “If this behavior is dangerous to men, how does it become safe or okay for women?”
I called the behavior an attack on black femininity and I’m not backing down from that claim. If anything, something in the video (other than the violence) happened that I found to be very interesting.
One of the children of the macho women in the video starts yelling, “THAT’S WHY YOU’RE GAY!” While what I assume is his mother or his mother’s friend is calling this guy a p*ssy.
The implication is that unless he acts in as an aggressive manner as they are, his masculinity is in jeopardy of being non-existant. He is not a man, he is a woman and this is somehow bad. This is the cornerstone of macho-thinking: I am challenging your manhood, and if you are a man, you will step to me and prove your masculinity.
Let’s stop and think about this for a moment. Femininity and womanhood is removed from this logic to the extent where it is expected that both parties recognize each other as masculine beings. Yes, that is exactly what we are seeing. Not only that, it is being openly detested and used as a goading tactic to incite violence.
How common is this behavior between overly aggressive and testosterone-laden males? And how common is it that from that point, it very well does escalate to violence?
And herein lies the problem when it comes to macho little black girls, teens, and women: They are not exceptions to the violence they are inciting.
Machoism in women is not a “have your cake and eat it too!” reality, where you get to behave in a way where you are challenging men as a man yourself, completely forsaking your womanhood, and then expect everyone to remember that you are a woman and that no harm will come to you.
The look of shock on the woman’s face (that’s not a pun, she looked shocked) when she got tased said it all. She honestly thought she could physically threaten this man, attack this man, and then everything would work out because she’s a woman. She tried it with the wrong man.
And she remains lucky that it was her pride that was hurt and she’ll be leaving with her life. People have been tased to death, you know.
But still, what if it had been a man with a gun? Or sans weapon, what if she was beaten to death right there in front of her crying children?
Tough questions must be asked of any community that attempts to normalize dangerous behaviors in women because they feel it’s safer to have hypermasculine little girls, lest they become “fast” little black girls. Tracy made a very telling observation in the referenced post:
“Don’t be too shocked ladies, lack of teaching about black female ‘hygiene’ is another form of them avoiding her ‘fastness’… That’s not poverty, that’s a mental condition causing the neglect. ”
I do strongly suspect that this behavior is a sadistic attempt to encourage black women into a mentality and lifestyle that “protects them” from being feminine little girls. Because there are too many predators in the black community who don’t see a sweet little girl. Instead, they see a wet hole just asking for it because she’s a ho anyway. And the further a little girl is from, well a little girl, the less likely she’s supposed to be confused with one. If she’s out challenging men and threatening violence, no one would think about sexing her…right?
Well…the women in the video were mothers so there goes that logic.
What we have instead is the Frankenstein creation of neglect and ignorance, the false belief that womanhood cast aside can be trusted to be remembered by every challenged party. The machoism that is getting women hurt and killed.
No one is saying wear a dress always and throw tea parties. No one is saying be “traditionally” feminine. At least I’m not saying this.
What I am trying to drive home is the reality of machoism, and that it is an unhealthy level of aggression that gets men AND women hurt and killed.
I am not a romantic so I’m not going to lie to you about this: There are no exceptions to this rule.
If you play with fire, you are going to get burned. If you encourage black girls to act like overly aggressive prison yard criminals, then that’s how they’ll behave, and when they step to the wrong person, they are going to inevitably get hurt.
How does this behavior become corrected?
I honestly don’t know. I think if I person wants to change they can. Of course that requires they know there’s something fundamentally wrong with their behavior. Why would you change aspects of yourself that you don’t consider problematic?
I guess the first step is acknowledging that this is a problem that is far too common to be any good. That this is not the way to encourage your black daughters to be, even if you delude yourself into believing hyper aggression and black male criminal imitation is less problematic than everyone knowing your dealing with a girl/woman. Because the worst case scenario is absolute success: Your girl-child/daughter’s machoism encourages her to get in the face of someone who is armed and or dangerous and it gets her killed.
Author’s Note:
As before, I’m not taking about sexuality (although the homophobia/misogyny expressed is rather interesting given the behavior, and definitely worth a topic of its own) or being “a tomboy”. There is a CLEAR and distinct difference between being a tomboy and being a hyper-aggressive black girl trying to fight and beat up on everyone. Please don’t play dumb.
Also, please note again that machoism is a definition usually used to describe distinctly human male behaviors, while still calling those behaviors “harmful”. So understand this is a way of being that while masculine is still considered wrong. In other words, for those who think this is an attack on less traditional and feminine black women, here you have a definition aimed at men telling them that it is unsafe. Attempting to make it safe for women because they are women is not forward thinking or progressive and expect me to challenge you if you try and pass it off as such. There are too many hurt and dead black women proving otherwise.