Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

Matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson Put to the Test: BB&W Crew Member Review

Review: One Degree from Me/Paul Carrick Brunson

By Dani

Like many of the regular posters here, a few years ago I realized that I had fallen into unhealthy relationship patterns. I took a dating hiatus to re-evaluate my life and priorities, as well as face fears causing me to settle for unacceptable situations. After some time to develop or further embrace the hobbies and things I enjoyed, about a year ago felt I was in a much healthier space. I began dating again but wasn’t having much success so I decided to consider matchmaking. I checked out One Degree from Me (ODFM) after Paul Carrick Brunson was interviewed by Christelyn last summer.

 

Due Diligence

I spent some time reviewing the ODFM website, Paul’s youtube videos and prior media coverage. I spoke with ODFM staff initially and also had a brief call with Paul; everyone was extremely open and helpful. At the time, the company was 3 years old and had conducted 3000 dates, with a 93% “match rate,” or dates that turned into long-term relationships (exclusive dating w/in 6 months). The services offered are:

  • complimentary membership (being added to a database of singles),
  • a two-week dating consultation, and
  • life coaching or matchmaking (the consultation is mandatory for these services).

 

ODFM has approximately 10,000 clients (in aggregate, from all three categories), with about 80% being African-American, primarily women.

 

Consultation

I decided the dating consultation best met my needs. The first step was to complete a very comprehensive 360° Analysis, which consisted of a New Client Questionnaire (demographic data, dating goals, relationship history, etc) and feedback provided directly to ODFM from friends and family. Paul and his team analyzed the information and created a custom presentation for me, which included Paul’s philosophy on dating and professional experiences with ODFM, an analysis of my situation, and a tentative two week dating plan. We discussed everything via a two-hour conference call and agreed on a two week plan I’d execute, which consisted of self-development work and tactical activities to meet men.


Action

The self-development work was very helpful. While it varies per client, for me personally it was connecting ideas I already had about an ideal partner to meaningful action. For example, while I knew the values I wanted in a man who would be a good fit, Paul helped me shape that view into ways to quickly discern if a man shared my values. He helped similarly regarding complimentary personalities. On the tactical side, establishing a profile on a major dating site, which I had been pretty adamantly against, was basically non-negotiable. We also identified two other ways to practically meet men who might be good fits for me.

 

Results

I interacted with several men online, had one date and met one other “potential.” While I was forced (kicking and screaming) to do the online dating, it actually turned out to be a good exercise because it cleverly got me back into regularly interacting with potential suitors. I was amazed how long it had been since I had gone through the steps of getting to know someone — discerning their personality, hearing their life experiences, and learning their goals, dreams and fears.

Paul and I had a follow-up call to discuss how things went and I was provided a final assessment which contained two additional recommendations for me: (1) drastically increase my number of interactions with men and (2) not to write men off as uninterested (in me) so quickly. One other general piece of advice was to keep an objective person in my corner, not only to gain advice from but to also help maintain some perspective and stay motivated. Sage advice I might add!

 

Summary

 

I DEFINITELY recommend One Degree from Me for any of the dating services they offer. The initial consultation is a very helpful starting point to make sure someone has an accurate view of where they are, not only in terms of identifying good partners, but also in measuring their own readiness to be a healthy partner. Everyone I interacted with at ODFM with was polite, professional and very competent (I greatly appreciated their use of technology). The only drawback I experienced pertained to scheduling; as Paul’s star continues to rise (which is a good thing) his schedule is packed with travel, media appearances, events, etc so there were times we weren’t able to connect as scheduled. However each time was recognized and quickly resolved, and I believe he’s added additional staff so hopefully my experiences were isolated exceptions.

 

One other thing, Paul’s background in finance is an added bonus because it is amazing how adept a mind previously used to analyze companies is, when applied to the science of dating. Nothing gets past him and he is very perceptive from his experience in the professional dating world!! Be prepared for objective honesty!

 

Overall, this was a wonderful experience and I look forward to continuing my journey in dating.

 

 

 

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