Someone tagged me on this Facebook question radio personality, Michael Baisden posed…

When I read it I almost couldn’t believe the question. A black, male radio host, entrenched in the the black community, doesn’t know WHY black women dating interracially is STILL a problem? I really have a hard time believing that. But more on that later.

I responded briefly because there were about 18,000 various responses, and from what I saw, a lot were like, “Yeah! Interracial relationships! Woo Hoo! Team Swirl!” while some others (yes, black women) who would say things like, “Why doesn’t society want black women and men to love each other?” But many, many other black women said, “Because we love our brothers!!!” Sigh… Here’s what I wrote:

Interesting question. As someone who wrote the book on it (literally) I can tell you that there are social consequences put upon black women in our community that are not the same as when black men exercise their options to date interracially. Another issue: many black women have been taught that black love is the pinnacle of romantic “success.” It’s our brand of the Cinderella story. I’m glad to see there’s more discussions on this, and that more black women are FINALLY opening their minds to how many options they truly have. LOL…but some folks are gonna be upset when a bunch of us do it…

Outside of external social consequences, I find that many black women stand in their own way of happiness too. They talk themselves out of the concept of finding love with a rainbeau and are often filled with regret later in life.

Maybe with such a high profile personality as Michael Baisden essentially giving black women “permission” to date interracially, more of them will consider it, as opposed to being single, lonely, in a serious relationship with a married man or a vibrator, or you’ve been “dating” your boyfriend for 10 years while he’s been dating, oh…EVERYONE…or hoping that Pookey will come around since you’re the only baby mama out of the other eight that gave him a son…

And yes of course there’s a ton of good black men out there who have their entire pick of black women, white women and everyone in between, so…why not you too?

Stop accepting less. With choices comes power. With power comes respect.