As a change of pace SirLoin along with Brenda55 offer a short story

The Ideal Man.com

Once upon a time there was a certain amateur wizard, who tried his hand at creating the ideal woman-to-man online match-up.

The rules were simple, in that any woman who visited the site would have one, and only one, chance to achieve her perfect, guaranteed match, resulting in a guaranteed marriage that would last a lifetime. Guaranteed.

As many women had before her Holly registered and paid her fee. She had tried everything. She knew her ideal man, her Mr. Right. She had her standards and she knew he was out there but alas she had not found him up until this point. This she felt was her last hope. She clicked on the button that said ENTER and read the following.

Option 1: Your Ideal Man – one who is warm & breathing, of any age, with a high-school education, steady employment and who strongly desires intimate contact with you – there is a vast pool of available mates. Accept or Pass.

Holly was disgusted with this minimalist offering, hits the pass button and so goes to …

Option 2: Your Ideal Man – one who is warm and breathing, of age within a decade of yours, with an Associates Degree, has a good job with a steady income and who strongly desires frequent intimate contact with you – there is still a vast pool of available mates. Accept or Pass

Holly knows that she wants more, in fact deserves more in a lifetime partner she again hits the pass button, and moves on to …

Option 3: Your Ideal Man – one who is pretty hot, at an age within 5 years of your own, with a Bachelor’s degree, a good job with a steady income and who strongly desires intimate contact with you – there is a large pool of available mates. Accept or Pass.

Option 4: Your Ideal Man – one who is hot, at an age within 5 years of your own, with a Master’s degree. He owns his own car, rents a nice apartment in a good section of the city. He has a good professional job with a steady income and has just been placed in the Executive training program in his company. He is on the fast track for advancement. Once again he strongly desires intimate contact with you – There is still a moderately large pool of available mates. Accept or Pass.

Holly sits up. She is stoked. “Now this was more like it. But, well, still…..” She thinks to herself “Each choice has been better than the last. Ohhhhhhh, I bet there has to be still better options. This is for the rest of my life after all and I am a catch of course.”, She passes and advanced to …

OK, Holly thinks, “This is good. Really good, a certified catch. He has everything most women could want.” She looks at the screen, her hand hovering on the mouse ready to click Accept but then passes. “I am not most women. I am after all a catch also so let’s just try for a teeny bit more.”

Option 6: Your Ideal Man – one who is a hottie by most women’s opinion. A regular at the gym with a personal trainer. This man is ripped. And at an age within 5 years of your own. He has an MBA & Ph.D., owns his own BMW car, has a paid-for Town house in a fashionable section of the city, has a great professional job with a six-figure income, Stock options, bonuses and a generous expense and travel account. No former spouses or children and who strongly desires intimate contact with you – there is a smaller pool of available mates. Accept or Pass.

Option 9: Your Ideal Man – one who is sophisticated and handsome. An Adonis. He is only a little older than you worldly and titled. A true Renaissance man possessing a Ph.D. He is the sole heir to old family money. Owns several luxury automobiles kept in a climate controlled garage as well as a Lear Jet and a yacht with professional crew. Has a fully restored and staffed Mansion on 65 rolling acres of prime land in a certified historic section of the state as well a homes in five of the major world’s capital cities. He is CEO of a successful investment firm and works from home. He is considered the Alpha of Alpha’s and, while always cool and controlled, with no temper outbursts, is a hero, ‘fresh-from-the-fight,’ No former spouses or children and while he seeks an heir and truly loves children he’s willing to forgo all intimate contact in deference to your unique needs, as he knows that this is ‘icky’ and ‘messy,’ and not something a woman who is refined, delicate and who’s most important relationships are with her mother and girlfriends ever wants.

Accept or Pass.

“Wait a minute, what’s this little notice-thing below?”

Holly Leaned in to read the screen.

— There are no heterosexual man

currently on the face of the earth

who meets all your qualifications.—

You are hereby ejected from the Wizard’s Match-up service ISP and can never return. Goodbye, and good luck finding your ideal mate.

The program terminates and the computer shuts down as her printer spits out a voucher good for the adoption of a cat from the local animal shelter.

“No, no, wait, I wanna go back, I’m a womyn, it’s my RIGHT to change my mind, any time I want … you gotta let me go back to the last option.  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo …”

And what of the wizard?

The End