Everyone has a mother, but not everyone has a child; and some people just don’t get into the celebration of certain holidays. But no matter what you’ll be doing on Mother’s Day, if you are a woman who thinks she may want to have a child in the future (whether or not you have one now) you can see the holiday as an opportunity for reflection and contemplation.

So lets suppose you see yourself celebrating Mother’s Day at some point in the future, how do you see yourself celebrating that day?

Do you imagine yourself sitting down to dinner in a nice restaurant, seated next to your husband, perhaps the in-laws, too, and your toddler to the left in a high seat?

Or, are you a single mother, sitting down to eat dinner in a chic eatery with a group of friends who are also single mothers?

Are you meeting your extended family for dinner at a relative’s house later, and you’ll show up at the front door with your husband and kids in tow?

If you never intend on having children, don’t worry–this little imagination exercise isn’t about you. It is about the millions of black women who want to be mothers one day. This is a chance for those women to make a conscious choice and decision about the circumstances under which they want to celebrate Mother’s Day in the future.

While you can’t plan everything, most of your life will not be an accident. Your life will be the steady accumulation of decisions that you make. And any of the above scenarios that I’ve described–or any scenario that you dream up–is almost certainly possible if you put your mind to making that scenario a reality and refuse to settle for less than what you imagine for yourself.

You deserve the best and so do your future children. Remember that.

Happy Mother’s Day, to all the current and future mothers.