Sometimes you have those weeks where there’s just so much WTF news you can’t cover it all. Or sometimes you’re just overbooked with being the volunteer photographer for your kid’s elementary school, plus the Room Mom, plus the 4th grade writing coach that you just can’t get to it all. Now that I’ve got two seconds, there’s a couple of things that came out this week that I just had to chime in on.

 Meet the Guy You’ll Never EVEREVEREVEREVEREVER Have

The first was the story about the Texas guy with a list of qualifications he wanted in a girl that was as long as the Dead Sea Scrolls, and he was willing to pay a commission to anyone who could present to him the not-a-black-girl-I-repeat-not-a-black-girl of his dreams. Folks were up in arms about how racist and douchy he was, and while he may be one or both, my question is…who the phuck cares?! Is this some kind of stain against all black women, as if it confirms the taunting that many black-woman-haters of You Tube say, that “Nobody wants you, you dark, ugly creature of the deep! See! These white dudes will date interracially with every other race in the world except for you! So just go kill yourself!!”

Look ladies, this is one guy, who’s a douche, but he’s entitled to his preference. It’s like the post Elegance wrote a while back about black women begging for folks to like us and understand us and validate us. Girls we DO NOT need this asshat’s validation! Not everyone is going to find black women attractive, and we need to be okay and at peace with that. He also does not want a “fat” woman. Fat women also have to be okay about not being attractive to every single guy out there. Our focus should be on being the BEST “US” we can be–spiritually, physically, financially, and emotionally. You can not MAKE someone like or love you, and that includes any man of any race.

Are you ready, ladies? Here’s the guy you can’t ever, ever, EVER EVER EVER EVER have!!!

I know. You’re all crying right now. It will be okay. The heart will heal.

Simon Cowell To Marry?

Second bit of news is that Simon Cowell may be planning to legally take himself off the market and marry his baby mama. This is a complete 180, because he’s said in the past that he would never, ever, never marry. But here’s the thing that makes this different: the woman (he stole from her husband) is having his baby. His progeny, and he wants that child to have his name and that mother to also have his name. Know how I know? Because when asked about his change of heart, he replied, “I wouldn’t expect her to be a single mother.”

This dears, is what REAL men do…they ensure the futures of their children. So take notes and plan accordingly. But also not that this is a purple-unicorn situation. Don’t expect to get knocked up first and just hope for the best. Do stuff in order, umkay?